Well my boyfriend and I are talking about getting back together after a month and a half of breaking up. We broke up because I was dealing with coming out to my parents and I started to abandon the relationship the last two months of a year long relationship.
Since then, I've come out to my parents and regained my self confidence. But now my ex has begun seeing someone he likes but after we had a heart to heart conversation, he's seen how much I've changed and we are now talking about a possible reconceliation but he feels trapped with this new guy he's dating and doesn't want to hurt his feelings.
I do believe he likes him but he's still misses me a lot and still loves me. The only problem is that his fag hag has warned him that if he ever reconciles back with me she will stop talking to him. The new guy he is dating is good friends with my ex's fag hag so if my ex breaks up with him, she will cut all communication with my ex.
The problem I have is my ex really likes his fag hag and enjoys spending time with her and the rest of his friends. The problem is that when we were together, I didn't get along with his friends and whenever we would hang out with his friends it would cause a fight between me and my ex so we kind of stopped hanging out with them all together.
Since our break up, all my ex does is hang out with his friends now and the new guy he's dating. So he's a little hesitant about a reconceliation since he doesn't want to stop seeing his friends.
I have thought about talking to his fag hag in hopes that we can atleast be in good terms in case my ex and I get back together. I have never done anything against this girl but she just doesn't like me, she's such a ***** but I'm willing to do anything to be able to get back together with my ex, even if I have to befriend the fag hag.
Please help, What should I do???Ex boyfriend and I are trying reconcile but his fag hag hates me?
As a fag hag, I know how this girl is feeling. Your best bet is to figure out what to say to her. Decide on how you feel about your ex, and then try to get together with her, and tell her exactly how you feel. She cares about her fag, and she wants what is best for him. You have to show her that you are the best for him.Ex boyfriend and I are trying reconcile but his fag hag hates me?
so the fag hag a female.. what is she a friend? and he's dating a guy? how does she fit in?
so theres you, your ex, his current 'bf' and a girl? how does that work out?
Befriend with the hag and get your bf back. Once you got him back, kick the hag out :). Good luck.
Okay um... WOW... If my man were in that position I'd tell him to forget the manipulative hag and get on with things. I'd point out that in my opinion a real friend wouldn't do something like that and be such a **** and so manipulative. I'd also tell him that if he can't get back with me then I'd hope to still be friends somewhat but that if he didn't come after me I might find someone else and I won't always be an option.
Friday, August 20, 2010
The ex effect..current bf..I need help please.?
Here's my story: when i was a kid 15 I met this boy he was 16 going on 17 and we dated officially for only 5 months. It was that one of a kind love, although I was young I was very mature for my age. But i also made some bad decisions and had to move to a new city (with mom).. Well at this time I was 16 and if you could imaging just totally broken hearted..the move was so unsuspected , but we kept contact , trying to continue things..we would get the chance to c eachother like 1 a month :(.so okay at 17 I was still very much in love with him..I remeber doing everything I could just to talk to him, so that I can express to him how I felt, and this guy is no easy cookie to break..but deep down he knew I cared and I knew he still cared..my plan was to move back to where he was as soon as I turned 18. at this time we were seeing other people..I never never expected the news I was about to hear...so one day I call him up and playfully tell him that I heard that he got his chick knocked up..and he replied: where did you hear about that? I was shocked, but he explained that he thought she was but her test came out negative..I was hurt but what could I do..I had accepted long before that I had no holds to him being all the way where I was..but I did my best to stay in his heart..and he always expressed that I was..Just is certain ways like singing our ';love'; songs to me over the phone, staying on the phone for hours at a time with out even having to say anything..promising me that when I came back to him we would get married. So on a different day I call him and theres all kind of camotion in the backround and he tells me that he's gonna be a dad..I didn't even know that to say, I just broke down. all of my dreams for a life with him being destroyed...so i hang up.. try to accept what is happening..but thats impossible..but he calls me and it's kind of awkward but he expressed that he made a horrible mistake that he ';loves'; this girl because he is used to her. So in my sick head filled with silly hopes i continue to have this ';relationship';..but I started to get out and I met this guy..and we start getting seriouse fast..I was still really in love with my ex..but i just wasn't in the right mind to make any right decisions..so i contined this new relations with full realization that it was wrong to lead this guy on ..well anyway i have been living with this guy for 2 yrs now ..im now 19 and still have strong feelings for my ex..its horrible i know that..I don't know what to do ..I'v had yrs to forget about my ex..even after all that horrible stuff he put me through I still care for him intensly..we still talk everynow and then..the times we don't is because I try to stay strong and not let him interfere with my current relationship. but no matter how hard I try , i cant stop these feelings.. and if i wanted to do anything about them it's not like i could now..I'm with this special guy who i share this amazing bond with, whom takes care of me and accepts me and adores me...i feel so guilty though just the thought of my heart betraying him like this..my ex still hopes we will have a future together but it's been yrs and nothing has happened..I hate this. Do you think I should come clean with my bf? ( he works grave yards..all week long..we hardley ever get out..when he's home he sleeps till 3 in the pm..goes to work at 8..it's just all taking a tole on me..im too young for this ****..to be at home all the time.. do you think me and my ex are meant to b together and thats why we can't stay away from eachother? I post this on yahoo/a because im too ashamed to say anything to anyone I know..because i know I sound foolish and ignorant..but I just don't know what to do.. please give me any opinions you have..
Thank You..p.s. be blunt ,cruel, whatever mainly be honest ..i wanna snap out of this and see the whole picture,maybe you can help..its a real issue.The ex effect..current bf..I need help please.?
I can tell you right now that its waaaay to complicated and you need to simplify things and figure out what matters the most to you cuz babbling mindlessly like that is something that maybe you should take to a psychologist. Whatev the *** that column was about i wish you luck but overanalyzing can drive you crazy i hope the rant made you feel a bit better at leastThe ex effect..current bf..I need help please.?
to much righting ...i guess yes?
If you want cruel and bluntness I will easily give it to you. First of all, yes it is very wrong for you to be talking about a future with another man that is not your boyfriend. And being up front that is emotional cheating. You may not be physically cheating with your ex but all of your emotions are invested in him which is extremely unfair to your boyfriend.
You need to break off all connections with your ex if you ever want to move on. He isn't good for you. Think of all the promises he made you and then at the same time went and slept with other girls and even got one pregnant. He obviously is with this other girl and is still telling you he wants a future?
Sweetie, he is very sketchy. He is not anyone you want to bank on because at the drop of a hat he will leave. He is one of those guys that goes where ever it suits him.
If you really love the guy you are with you would break off all connections with your ex. AND sit down and come clean. Your boyfriend will be hurt at first but let him know you are ready to leave your ex behind and then do it. Honesty is the most important thing in a relationship, along with communication.
Good luck.
well, you have two options. the first and most common that you will probably get is to ';move on,'; right? that would be the sanest thing to do, as well as the hardest. just like it has been so far for you apparently.
however, the second option is that you hare just going to follow your heart, which is also pretty hard to do. And the reason for this is that in following your heart, you are going in blindfolded and you could go one of two ways: you are either going to find what it is you were looking for with your ex, what could apparently be considered was meant to be, OR you could be at one point if you go back to your ex, you will find that it was a mistake to have gone back to him. Its a big risk. Happiness and love, or total loss and heartache. But then again, there can be no gain if there is no pain, and sometimes pain is necessary to move on. And when i say pain, i am referring to the pain of the disilusionment if things go wrong with your ex. If this is the case, though, it is not a total loss, because after the pain, at least you would now have a reason to finally stop thinking about him and finally ';move on.';
So, there is a great chance of happiness, as well as there is a big chance of heartache, but like i said, after the heartache, there is an easier way for a breakthrough, which in this case could be referred to as piece of mind and finally be over what could have been and then truly move on with your life like you should have from the beginning that you guys were separated. you can't win if you dont risk. maybe, MAYBE, you should follow your heart. otherwise, you will be restless over this other guy and never get over it. Good Luck.
you have no idea how you feel about anyone! how do u expect others to guess wts on your mind??!!and i dont thk ur meant for eac other..youre just so attached to that guy..thats ol i gess
Well, I don't really know you guys to say if you're meant to be or not, but I think you and your ex are really cute. You can't really forget your great loves, and if he was your first boyfriend, you especially can't forget those.
But he has a kid now. And he has a girl. Do you want to be the person who takes another woman's man? Or the one who makes the kid a bastard or not have what people consider a ';normal'; childhood... (Taking away his dad)
Getting involved in a triangle will be harsh, but then again, your only way to see how much you mean to him.
Then you have this guy? Does he make you happy at all?
But then if you think about it... If your ex loved you as much as he tells you he does, why didn't he ever go to get you? Be your knight in shining armor.
OK, you only spent 5 months with him in real time. The rest of the time was spent over the phone and very far away from him. So really you never got to the nitty gritty of what a relationship is all about on a daily basis. 15 is a VERY impressionable age, meaning this love was so potent, then to crown it all, you were parted against your wishes, this leads a a sort of ideation of the person which you have of him.
He has moved on, but he still cares about you as a person. He did the regular things a person would do, he continued to care about you but perhaps it changed over time. I think with your current relationship and any to follow, you will always hanker after him, you ex, if things are not perfect, because he is. Or so you think.
Love never goes away really, it just changes shape. So realize he loves you enough to be in contact with you and care, but he is in love with another. This means he never has to ';go out of your life'; completely if you so wish it. But don't let his ghost destroy your current life. You only have one remember that.
just smell the coffee and WAKE UP. Look at the facts here. Your ex is going to become a daddy. He went on and had a relationship with another woman. (BETRAYAL). Ask yourself, do you like the man in your current relationship? Or is he just a fallback? Is your ex still with this other woman? If so, he has a CHILD to take care of so he's NOT coming back. Any emotions that you haven't expressed to your ex about this situation, let him know. BE STRONG. After that, accept the fact that there can't be anything you can do except be his friend. Then, simply MOVE ON and LIVE.
well im still in love with this girl but i just try to not think about he and eventually i stop thinking about her for short periods of time(2 3 weeks)
Thank You..p.s. be blunt ,cruel, whatever mainly be honest ..i wanna snap out of this and see the whole picture,maybe you can help..its a real issue.The ex effect..current bf..I need help please.?
I can tell you right now that its waaaay to complicated and you need to simplify things and figure out what matters the most to you cuz babbling mindlessly like that is something that maybe you should take to a psychologist. Whatev the *** that column was about i wish you luck but overanalyzing can drive you crazy i hope the rant made you feel a bit better at leastThe ex effect..current bf..I need help please.?
to much righting ...i guess yes?
If you want cruel and bluntness I will easily give it to you. First of all, yes it is very wrong for you to be talking about a future with another man that is not your boyfriend. And being up front that is emotional cheating. You may not be physically cheating with your ex but all of your emotions are invested in him which is extremely unfair to your boyfriend.
You need to break off all connections with your ex if you ever want to move on. He isn't good for you. Think of all the promises he made you and then at the same time went and slept with other girls and even got one pregnant. He obviously is with this other girl and is still telling you he wants a future?
Sweetie, he is very sketchy. He is not anyone you want to bank on because at the drop of a hat he will leave. He is one of those guys that goes where ever it suits him.
If you really love the guy you are with you would break off all connections with your ex. AND sit down and come clean. Your boyfriend will be hurt at first but let him know you are ready to leave your ex behind and then do it. Honesty is the most important thing in a relationship, along with communication.
Good luck.
well, you have two options. the first and most common that you will probably get is to ';move on,'; right? that would be the sanest thing to do, as well as the hardest. just like it has been so far for you apparently.
however, the second option is that you hare just going to follow your heart, which is also pretty hard to do. And the reason for this is that in following your heart, you are going in blindfolded and you could go one of two ways: you are either going to find what it is you were looking for with your ex, what could apparently be considered was meant to be, OR you could be at one point if you go back to your ex, you will find that it was a mistake to have gone back to him. Its a big risk. Happiness and love, or total loss and heartache. But then again, there can be no gain if there is no pain, and sometimes pain is necessary to move on. And when i say pain, i am referring to the pain of the disilusionment if things go wrong with your ex. If this is the case, though, it is not a total loss, because after the pain, at least you would now have a reason to finally stop thinking about him and finally ';move on.';
So, there is a great chance of happiness, as well as there is a big chance of heartache, but like i said, after the heartache, there is an easier way for a breakthrough, which in this case could be referred to as piece of mind and finally be over what could have been and then truly move on with your life like you should have from the beginning that you guys were separated. you can't win if you dont risk. maybe, MAYBE, you should follow your heart. otherwise, you will be restless over this other guy and never get over it. Good Luck.
you have no idea how you feel about anyone! how do u expect others to guess wts on your mind??!!and i dont thk ur meant for eac other..youre just so attached to that guy..thats ol i gess
Well, I don't really know you guys to say if you're meant to be or not, but I think you and your ex are really cute. You can't really forget your great loves, and if he was your first boyfriend, you especially can't forget those.
But he has a kid now. And he has a girl. Do you want to be the person who takes another woman's man? Or the one who makes the kid a bastard or not have what people consider a ';normal'; childhood... (Taking away his dad)
Getting involved in a triangle will be harsh, but then again, your only way to see how much you mean to him.
Then you have this guy? Does he make you happy at all?
But then if you think about it... If your ex loved you as much as he tells you he does, why didn't he ever go to get you? Be your knight in shining armor.
OK, you only spent 5 months with him in real time. The rest of the time was spent over the phone and very far away from him. So really you never got to the nitty gritty of what a relationship is all about on a daily basis. 15 is a VERY impressionable age, meaning this love was so potent, then to crown it all, you were parted against your wishes, this leads a a sort of ideation of the person which you have of him.
He has moved on, but he still cares about you as a person. He did the regular things a person would do, he continued to care about you but perhaps it changed over time. I think with your current relationship and any to follow, you will always hanker after him, you ex, if things are not perfect, because he is. Or so you think.
Love never goes away really, it just changes shape. So realize he loves you enough to be in contact with you and care, but he is in love with another. This means he never has to ';go out of your life'; completely if you so wish it. But don't let his ghost destroy your current life. You only have one remember that.
just smell the coffee and WAKE UP. Look at the facts here. Your ex is going to become a daddy. He went on and had a relationship with another woman. (BETRAYAL). Ask yourself, do you like the man in your current relationship? Or is he just a fallback? Is your ex still with this other woman? If so, he has a CHILD to take care of so he's NOT coming back. Any emotions that you haven't expressed to your ex about this situation, let him know. BE STRONG. After that, accept the fact that there can't be anything you can do except be his friend. Then, simply MOVE ON and LIVE.
well im still in love with this girl but i just try to not think about he and eventually i stop thinking about her for short periods of time(2 3 weeks)
EX wants me back, REALLY dont know what to do?
This was a previous post but i just added the bottom 2 paragraphs, please read! sorry its long
Ok so a couple weeks ago i broke up w/ my ex bc i caught her talk to her ex boyfriend multiple time and not just ';hey how are you' but things like i love you, i miss you, one time she even told him that she was single. and she talk to other guys just bc she likes the attention, she admitted that. i just grew so tired of it, it was so wrong and unfair. she says its all bc her first bf messed her head up so bad so now she craves attention from guys bc he never gave her any. But after a couple of time of pouring my heart out and tellin her how much that she hurt me by sayin those things to her ex bf, she continued to do it so i had to break it off.
when i first broke it off i knew that would be only way for her to realize things and that i hoped she would change and we could work it out. of course i was down and missed her like crazy. but after a little while i felt better and like i was ready to just move on. So about a week ago she started callin again alot saying how much see missed me and is sorry. so we started hangin out some again, she says she will change and that she knows she needs to fix things.
I just dont know what to do she seems so sincere but still. im really stuck. sometimes i think just go and move on she wont change. then i think maybe she will change and im pushing away something good. Its just tough bc now when we hang out all i can think about is oh great who is she talking to now.
She has started seeing a pyschiatrist since she knows she has some issues and she ';says'; that one of the main things she talks about with them is how she likes attention and how she keeps talkin to her ex even though she has no true feelings for him. I dunno what to do, it seems like she really wants to fix things but who knows if she will and if so how long will i have to wait around for it.
I thought about just givin it a rest w/ her for a while so she can get herself straight. i just feel like its now or never though. like we will be too far down are own paths later on to work anything out
Ok so very recently she still beggin for me back. she even went as far to show me a conversation she had with her ex where she told him that they needed to stop talkin to one another bc it ruined my relationship. she told him she loves me and im the one she wants. That really did help me feel like she is serious about a change.
It just still so tough, bc i was actually startin to kind of enjoy being single but i do still love her and im afraid when i get tired again a little down the road of runnin around enjoying the single life im gonna want her back so bad. Im also kind of scared she may go back to her old ways im seriously sooooooo confused!!!EX wants me back, REALLY dont know what to do?
I'm sorry you're going through this, ,but this is the ';marriage and divorce'; section. Your question really belongs to ';singles and dating.';EX wants me back, REALLY dont know what to do?
you sound like a great guy so i would leave her and find someone who doesn't play games like that. she had her chance and she screwed up. if you do give her another chance dont trust her completely and pay attention to her actions rather that her words, then again that she seems like to much work. i would move on
If she is seeing a doctor and getting help...she is serious about reconciling wiht you...if you have it in your heart...give it a chance.
why do people constantly post these questions under marriage and divorce? you're not married and not dealing with issues on the same level!!
so freakin' annoying to read about your 'single and dating' problems when some of us are having our lives ripped apart with children involved.myspace codes kick scooter
Ok so a couple weeks ago i broke up w/ my ex bc i caught her talk to her ex boyfriend multiple time and not just ';hey how are you' but things like i love you, i miss you, one time she even told him that she was single. and she talk to other guys just bc she likes the attention, she admitted that. i just grew so tired of it, it was so wrong and unfair. she says its all bc her first bf messed her head up so bad so now she craves attention from guys bc he never gave her any. But after a couple of time of pouring my heart out and tellin her how much that she hurt me by sayin those things to her ex bf, she continued to do it so i had to break it off.
when i first broke it off i knew that would be only way for her to realize things and that i hoped she would change and we could work it out. of course i was down and missed her like crazy. but after a little while i felt better and like i was ready to just move on. So about a week ago she started callin again alot saying how much see missed me and is sorry. so we started hangin out some again, she says she will change and that she knows she needs to fix things.
I just dont know what to do she seems so sincere but still. im really stuck. sometimes i think just go and move on she wont change. then i think maybe she will change and im pushing away something good. Its just tough bc now when we hang out all i can think about is oh great who is she talking to now.
She has started seeing a pyschiatrist since she knows she has some issues and she ';says'; that one of the main things she talks about with them is how she likes attention and how she keeps talkin to her ex even though she has no true feelings for him. I dunno what to do, it seems like she really wants to fix things but who knows if she will and if so how long will i have to wait around for it.
I thought about just givin it a rest w/ her for a while so she can get herself straight. i just feel like its now or never though. like we will be too far down are own paths later on to work anything out
Ok so very recently she still beggin for me back. she even went as far to show me a conversation she had with her ex where she told him that they needed to stop talkin to one another bc it ruined my relationship. she told him she loves me and im the one she wants. That really did help me feel like she is serious about a change.
It just still so tough, bc i was actually startin to kind of enjoy being single but i do still love her and im afraid when i get tired again a little down the road of runnin around enjoying the single life im gonna want her back so bad. Im also kind of scared she may go back to her old ways im seriously sooooooo confused!!!EX wants me back, REALLY dont know what to do?
I'm sorry you're going through this, ,but this is the ';marriage and divorce'; section. Your question really belongs to ';singles and dating.';EX wants me back, REALLY dont know what to do?
you sound like a great guy so i would leave her and find someone who doesn't play games like that. she had her chance and she screwed up. if you do give her another chance dont trust her completely and pay attention to her actions rather that her words, then again that she seems like to much work. i would move on
If she is seeing a doctor and getting help...she is serious about reconciling wiht you...if you have it in your heart...give it a chance.
why do people constantly post these questions under marriage and divorce? you're not married and not dealing with issues on the same level!!
so freakin' annoying to read about your 'single and dating' problems when some of us are having our lives ripped apart with children involved.
Child visitaion issue, ex violent and demanding visits with child?
Ex reappeared and is asking for visitation....after 9 months of zero contact. He has never paid child support, nobody even knows where my ex even lives, or if he has a home. my son is 5, he has not seen or heard from his father this year, last year he saw his father 3 times, for about 2 hours each time. now my ex just got in touch with my mother asking how to set up visitation with my 5 year old. My son is PDD, and does not do well with changes. He does not know this man. How can I in good concience send him to visit with him? My ex has no real explanation for WHY he vanished, just that he was really busy.
I already contacted a few lawyers, all want between 3 and 5K to even look at helping me, which frankly I do not have lying around. What CAN I do?
MY issues are that my ex has a history of physical abuse, he has serious anger issues which is why I divorced him 4 years ago. My ex chose to stay out of my sons life, my son does not know this man. My son is special needs, and with that he needs structure, which my ex has not ever provided, rather he has been the oposite of structure.
How can I send my child with someone who is essentially a stranger to him? Just because you father a child does NOT make you a dad.Child visitaion issue, ex violent and demanding visits with child?
Let him take you to court to get the visitation. He is the one who left-I think it should be on his shoulders to prove he is a fit parent. Also-talk with your local child services, they should give you names of advocacy groups and also how the laws work. They will also pursue him for child support. Bring his SSN and any info that you have on him. Last address etc. Get any who have seen his past behavior to write it down with signature and date it-get a file going on him.Does he have a record? Get copies if you can-esp if you are involved. With all that in hand, see if you can counter sue-or sue for sole guardianship.Child visitaion issue, ex violent and demanding visits with child?
This is all a matter for the court system. Were visitation provisions made in the divorce papers? If so, even though he hasn't paid Child Support, you are bound by the papers. If you were ordered payment of Child Support and haven't complained about not getting it, this is your problem.
I already contacted a few lawyers, all want between 3 and 5K to even look at helping me, which frankly I do not have lying around. What CAN I do?
MY issues are that my ex has a history of physical abuse, he has serious anger issues which is why I divorced him 4 years ago. My ex chose to stay out of my sons life, my son does not know this man. My son is special needs, and with that he needs structure, which my ex has not ever provided, rather he has been the oposite of structure.
How can I send my child with someone who is essentially a stranger to him? Just because you father a child does NOT make you a dad.Child visitaion issue, ex violent and demanding visits with child?
Let him take you to court to get the visitation. He is the one who left-I think it should be on his shoulders to prove he is a fit parent. Also-talk with your local child services, they should give you names of advocacy groups and also how the laws work. They will also pursue him for child support. Bring his SSN and any info that you have on him. Last address etc. Get any who have seen his past behavior to write it down with signature and date it-get a file going on him.Does he have a record? Get copies if you can-esp if you are involved. With all that in hand, see if you can counter sue-or sue for sole guardianship.Child visitaion issue, ex violent and demanding visits with child?
This is all a matter for the court system. Were visitation provisions made in the divorce papers? If so, even though he hasn't paid Child Support, you are bound by the papers. If you were ordered payment of Child Support and haven't complained about not getting it, this is your problem.
EX wants me back, HELP dont know what to do?
This was a previous post but i just added the bottom 2 paragraphs, please read! sorry its long
Ok so a couple weeks ago i broke up w/ my ex bc i caught her talk to her ex boyfriend multiple time and not just ';hey how are you' but things like i love you, i miss you, one time she even told him that she was single. and she talk to other guys just bc she likes the attention, she admitted that. i just grew so tired of it, it was so wrong and unfair. she says its all bc her first bf messed her head up so bad so now she craves attention from guys bc he never gave her any. But after a couple of time of pouring my heart out and tellin her how much that she hurt me by sayin those things to her ex bf, she continued to do it so i had to break it off.
when i first broke it off i knew that would be only way for her to realize things and that i hoped she would change and we could work it out. of course i was down and missed her like crazy. but after a little while i felt better and like i was ready to just move on. So about a week ago she started callin again alot saying how much see missed me and is sorry. so we started hangin out some again, she says she will change and that she knows she needs to fix things.
I just dont know what to do she seems so sincere but still. im really stuck. sometimes i think just go and move on she wont change. then i think maybe she will change and im pushing away something good. Its just tough bc now when we hang out all i can think about is oh great who is she talking to now.
She has started seeing a pyschiatrist since she knows she has some issues and she ';says'; that one of the main things she talks about with them is how she likes attention and how she keeps talkin to her ex even though she has no true feelings for him. I dunno what to do, it seems like she really wants to fix things but who knows if she will and if so how long will i have to wait around for it.
I thought about just givin it a rest w/ her for a while so she can get herself straight. i just feel like its now or never though. like we will be too far down are own paths later on to work anything out
Ok so very recently she still beggin for me back. she even went as far to show me a conversation she had with her ex where she told him that they needed to stop talkin to one another bc it ruined my relationship. she told him she loves me and im the one she wants. That really did help me feel like she is serious about a change.
It just still so tough, bc i was actually startin to kind of enjoy being single but i do still love her and im afraid when i get tired again a little down the road of runnin around enjoying the single life im gonna want her back so bad. Im also kind of scared she may go back to her old ways im seriously sooooooo confused!!!EX wants me back, HELP dont know what to do?
Next week she'll be begging the other ex to get back together.
Move on mate!EX wants me back, HELP dont know what to do?
Unless you both have changed a lot, things will just get back to the way they were before.
Don't bother going back.
TLDR, wrong forum.
Move on with your life.
She's using you like a nasty rug.
Wowsers, she sounds like a really high maintenance gal.
If you guys don't have kids together I think perhaps you should follow your instinct and stay away from her. Better to be single and sane than in a relationship where you are getting jerked around because she likes drama and she likes to be the star of all that drama. The good news is, you don't have to live in her soap opera.
Good luck to you!
She's your ex for a reason.... don't go there.
And you don't love her, you love what you WISH she were, and what you THOUGHT she was, and guess, what???? They aren't the same people, are they?????
A wonderful old man I knew once said, ';The only thing good reheated is stuff cabbage...';
You might think about that, hon.
To be honest it's a good start that she is seeking help. It's a big risk given that she burned you, but that's a risk in any relationship. You can say forget it and be safe, but will you say what if? There is no need to make a decision right now, just see what happens and if it's not good enough then you know and there is no what if
I think she is too dependant on you, and as a result, she has made you her 'God' so to speak.
THIS ISNT A GOOD THING. It would be best for her is she settled down first and got herlife back together. Once that happens, then you can consider anything.
Getting back with her will only throw off, what seems to be an unstable person.
Let her get some stability without adding extra weight right now. Good Luck
I think that she's more confused than you are...if I were you I would stay apart from her a bit and wait a good amount of time before I get back together with her. Tell her that you jus wanna be friends with her for now and if you start liking her you guys should get back together, just make sure you like her.
I'm a firm believer that things DO happen for reasons. You broke up w/her for your own reasons, those reasons are still there even if you can't see them clearly at the moment. She is clouding your judgment %26amp; is getting you really confused rite about now. Just remember the reasons you broke up w/her in the first place. People do NOT just happen to change over nite. You also stated you were starting to feel good about yourself in that you were free of all this craziness. Do you honestly feel you even want to take the chance things have changed THIS SOON %26amp; that she just won't ';slide'; back to the person you just worked so hard to get yourself away from? I just feel it's far too soon to take that chance again. You're already going thru the ';what ifs'; now. What if this, what if that, You are plainly just NOT sure it's doing the rite thing to go back to her this soon. There are reasons you ARE feeling this way. I just feel you still have a few too many red flags waving in front of your face for you to take a chance, then to have it all get smashed against the rocks again %26amp; you'll be rite back where you were. I'd honestly say to listen to your heart, listen to that little ';voice of reason'; that's making you hesitate because it's all happening ';for a reason:, I feel IF you were absolutely sure about things you wouldn't have ANY questions about it as you now have, so I'd go w/the feeling you now have %26amp; just tell her you don't feel you're ready to take any chances at the moment now, not yet anyway, NO ONE can fault you for the feelings you feel like you do because you have good reasons for them...I wish you all the best...:)
You gave her plenty of rope, she chose to hang herself and nobody would fault you for walking away at this point. In fact that's probably what I would do -- I would tell her I was glad she was getting her head checked but she waited too long to do anything for ';us'; to work out, and I would rather take my chances elsewhere. But, in the end it's your call.
If you do decide to tough it out:
-- How much attention exactly are you going to have to give her to keep her satisfied? Because you know she wasn't getting enough from you. Can you step it up that much? -%26gt; Are you compatible?
-- Do you think you can ever get over the crap she's done to you in the past?
-- If you met another girl and she also did this to you, would there even be a question in your mind as to what you would do? What I am asking is, is it possible the only reason you're considering trying again is because this is the first time you've been screwed over so royally?
Ok so a couple weeks ago i broke up w/ my ex bc i caught her talk to her ex boyfriend multiple time and not just ';hey how are you' but things like i love you, i miss you, one time she even told him that she was single. and she talk to other guys just bc she likes the attention, she admitted that. i just grew so tired of it, it was so wrong and unfair. she says its all bc her first bf messed her head up so bad so now she craves attention from guys bc he never gave her any. But after a couple of time of pouring my heart out and tellin her how much that she hurt me by sayin those things to her ex bf, she continued to do it so i had to break it off.
when i first broke it off i knew that would be only way for her to realize things and that i hoped she would change and we could work it out. of course i was down and missed her like crazy. but after a little while i felt better and like i was ready to just move on. So about a week ago she started callin again alot saying how much see missed me and is sorry. so we started hangin out some again, she says she will change and that she knows she needs to fix things.
I just dont know what to do she seems so sincere but still. im really stuck. sometimes i think just go and move on she wont change. then i think maybe she will change and im pushing away something good. Its just tough bc now when we hang out all i can think about is oh great who is she talking to now.
She has started seeing a pyschiatrist since she knows she has some issues and she ';says'; that one of the main things she talks about with them is how she likes attention and how she keeps talkin to her ex even though she has no true feelings for him. I dunno what to do, it seems like she really wants to fix things but who knows if she will and if so how long will i have to wait around for it.
I thought about just givin it a rest w/ her for a while so she can get herself straight. i just feel like its now or never though. like we will be too far down are own paths later on to work anything out
Ok so very recently she still beggin for me back. she even went as far to show me a conversation she had with her ex where she told him that they needed to stop talkin to one another bc it ruined my relationship. she told him she loves me and im the one she wants. That really did help me feel like she is serious about a change.
It just still so tough, bc i was actually startin to kind of enjoy being single but i do still love her and im afraid when i get tired again a little down the road of runnin around enjoying the single life im gonna want her back so bad. Im also kind of scared she may go back to her old ways im seriously sooooooo confused!!!EX wants me back, HELP dont know what to do?
Next week she'll be begging the other ex to get back together.
Move on mate!EX wants me back, HELP dont know what to do?
Unless you both have changed a lot, things will just get back to the way they were before.
Don't bother going back.
TLDR, wrong forum.
Move on with your life.
She's using you like a nasty rug.
Wowsers, she sounds like a really high maintenance gal.
If you guys don't have kids together I think perhaps you should follow your instinct and stay away from her. Better to be single and sane than in a relationship where you are getting jerked around because she likes drama and she likes to be the star of all that drama. The good news is, you don't have to live in her soap opera.
Good luck to you!
She's your ex for a reason.... don't go there.
And you don't love her, you love what you WISH she were, and what you THOUGHT she was, and guess, what???? They aren't the same people, are they?????
A wonderful old man I knew once said, ';The only thing good reheated is stuff cabbage...';
You might think about that, hon.
To be honest it's a good start that she is seeking help. It's a big risk given that she burned you, but that's a risk in any relationship. You can say forget it and be safe, but will you say what if? There is no need to make a decision right now, just see what happens and if it's not good enough then you know and there is no what if
I think she is too dependant on you, and as a result, she has made you her 'God' so to speak.
THIS ISNT A GOOD THING. It would be best for her is she settled down first and got herlife back together. Once that happens, then you can consider anything.
Getting back with her will only throw off, what seems to be an unstable person.
Let her get some stability without adding extra weight right now. Good Luck
I think that she's more confused than you are...if I were you I would stay apart from her a bit and wait a good amount of time before I get back together with her. Tell her that you jus wanna be friends with her for now and if you start liking her you guys should get back together, just make sure you like her.
I'm a firm believer that things DO happen for reasons. You broke up w/her for your own reasons, those reasons are still there even if you can't see them clearly at the moment. She is clouding your judgment %26amp; is getting you really confused rite about now. Just remember the reasons you broke up w/her in the first place. People do NOT just happen to change over nite. You also stated you were starting to feel good about yourself in that you were free of all this craziness. Do you honestly feel you even want to take the chance things have changed THIS SOON %26amp; that she just won't ';slide'; back to the person you just worked so hard to get yourself away from? I just feel it's far too soon to take that chance again. You're already going thru the ';what ifs'; now. What if this, what if that, You are plainly just NOT sure it's doing the rite thing to go back to her this soon. There are reasons you ARE feeling this way. I just feel you still have a few too many red flags waving in front of your face for you to take a chance, then to have it all get smashed against the rocks again %26amp; you'll be rite back where you were. I'd honestly say to listen to your heart, listen to that little ';voice of reason'; that's making you hesitate because it's all happening ';for a reason:, I feel IF you were absolutely sure about things you wouldn't have ANY questions about it as you now have, so I'd go w/the feeling you now have %26amp; just tell her you don't feel you're ready to take any chances at the moment now, not yet anyway, NO ONE can fault you for the feelings you feel like you do because you have good reasons for them...I wish you all the best...:)
You gave her plenty of rope, she chose to hang herself and nobody would fault you for walking away at this point. In fact that's probably what I would do -- I would tell her I was glad she was getting her head checked but she waited too long to do anything for ';us'; to work out, and I would rather take my chances elsewhere. But, in the end it's your call.
If you do decide to tough it out:
-- How much attention exactly are you going to have to give her to keep her satisfied? Because you know she wasn't getting enough from you. Can you step it up that much? -%26gt; Are you compatible?
-- Do you think you can ever get over the crap she's done to you in the past?
-- If you met another girl and she also did this to you, would there even be a question in your mind as to what you would do? What I am asking is, is it possible the only reason you're considering trying again is because this is the first time you've been screwed over so royally?
Why do i keep thinking of my ex?
i was going out with my ex forone and a half year and we just split up before xmas and i am now dating a guy its been 3 weeks now with this guy but a keep thinking a bout my ex even though a really like this guy im with the now, how do i stop thinking about him and how long will it take to get over him?Why do i keep thinking of my ex?
Hello,
I am not Dr. Phil but you need to let go of the past so it does not drag you down, move on deeper with your new one.
Have better xxx %26amp; pre- xxx, which in English is often called 69ers. Pour your whole Heart out only xxxly to your new one and fill each others dreams so you will never need to look back.
Here is how I know, I because of my not being poor and maybe good looks, have dated 2 former Miss state's and one beer TV commercail swim suite model.
But I only know how you feel because I was so head over heals for each of them.
But now I found I how a real Women that is not only pretty but has everything else that makes for a great Future as one.
Good Luck
Make Sure You don't hold back one drop in the bedroom %26amp; soon you will only think of your new one, believe me.Why do i keep thinking of my ex?
dont wory that you keep thinking bout him. i still think about my 1st ever bf and the rest of my exes. at the end of the day they were part of your life and for a while i guess made you very happy. it would be unnatural to forget about him.
Dont wory your feelings are natural and just make sure this new bloke treats you right.
It seems like you havent quite had the closure you needed to move on. On the other hand, time is the greatest healer and ending a relationship after a year and half and moving on from it will take time, because you have to adjust your life again to new situations. Give this guy a go and the more time you spend with him and get to know him, the less you'll probably think about your ex. Thats what I found happened to me.
It always happens. You Have only just split from him and need to give yourself time to get over him before you can move onto someone else. If yo were really in love with him then you will find that, even in years to come, you will still think of him every now and again but you just have to learn to live with it. If you find yourself thinking about him when you don't want to just remember all his disgusting habits that drove you loopy and not the nice things.
I don't think that you have taken the time to get over your ex. You have jumped into a new relationship too soon, and that is why you are still thinking about your ex. Maybe you should take the time to be alone, and consider how you feel about your ex....if you still have feelings for him, then its not fair to go out with someone else. If you can make your old relationship go then make it work, if you can't then I suggest be on your own and try to work out how to get over him
get over her man
Well you were dating your ex for a year and a half so it is going to take you a long time to get over him, it seems like you only went out with the new guy so you canget over the old one.
It may take a while but if you want to stop thinking of him you can find a better man that you like, which is what you have done.
i have been seperated from my X for almost one year now. We haven't had one ounce of contact since then and I still think about him. Give it time with your new man, these things don't happen over night and your only out of your last relationship less than two months.
well just think about how unfair it is on your current guy to be thinking of your ex.
Youre with the new guy now and deserves 100% from you - so unless youre prepared to live in the past with memories of your ex you're just gona have to move on and forget him and concentrate on enjoying your time with this new guy
xx
It does take time to get over someone you have loved. Sometimes it makes it worse when you enter a new relationship coz u find yourself comparing the new guy with ur ex - which is wrong but we do it. I think you should give yourself time - keep reminding yourself of the reasons why you and your ex parted in the first place. Just remember, if it wasnt working out with your ex its time to move on and go out there to find your perfect mate. Good luck.
it will fade with time...just listen to music...and ** him...they rnt worth it...so dont act all depressed about it...u split with him..so there is no reason to cry over spilled milk homes
You're still not over him yet. You need time to heal girl. Take time out for yourself before dating anyone.
You have to cut him out of your life completely. No pictures, letters, telephone calls, etc. Then just give it time and slowly, you will stop thinking of him. It can be a long process but good luck!
Hello,
I am not Dr. Phil but you need to let go of the past so it does not drag you down, move on deeper with your new one.
Have better xxx %26amp; pre- xxx, which in English is often called 69ers. Pour your whole Heart out only xxxly to your new one and fill each others dreams so you will never need to look back.
Here is how I know, I because of my not being poor and maybe good looks, have dated 2 former Miss state's and one beer TV commercail swim suite model.
But I only know how you feel because I was so head over heals for each of them.
But now I found I how a real Women that is not only pretty but has everything else that makes for a great Future as one.
Good Luck
Make Sure You don't hold back one drop in the bedroom %26amp; soon you will only think of your new one, believe me.Why do i keep thinking of my ex?
dont wory that you keep thinking bout him. i still think about my 1st ever bf and the rest of my exes. at the end of the day they were part of your life and for a while i guess made you very happy. it would be unnatural to forget about him.
Dont wory your feelings are natural and just make sure this new bloke treats you right.
It seems like you havent quite had the closure you needed to move on. On the other hand, time is the greatest healer and ending a relationship after a year and half and moving on from it will take time, because you have to adjust your life again to new situations. Give this guy a go and the more time you spend with him and get to know him, the less you'll probably think about your ex. Thats what I found happened to me.
It always happens. You Have only just split from him and need to give yourself time to get over him before you can move onto someone else. If yo were really in love with him then you will find that, even in years to come, you will still think of him every now and again but you just have to learn to live with it. If you find yourself thinking about him when you don't want to just remember all his disgusting habits that drove you loopy and not the nice things.
I don't think that you have taken the time to get over your ex. You have jumped into a new relationship too soon, and that is why you are still thinking about your ex. Maybe you should take the time to be alone, and consider how you feel about your ex....if you still have feelings for him, then its not fair to go out with someone else. If you can make your old relationship go then make it work, if you can't then I suggest be on your own and try to work out how to get over him
get over her man
Well you were dating your ex for a year and a half so it is going to take you a long time to get over him, it seems like you only went out with the new guy so you canget over the old one.
It may take a while but if you want to stop thinking of him you can find a better man that you like, which is what you have done.
i have been seperated from my X for almost one year now. We haven't had one ounce of contact since then and I still think about him. Give it time with your new man, these things don't happen over night and your only out of your last relationship less than two months.
well just think about how unfair it is on your current guy to be thinking of your ex.
Youre with the new guy now and deserves 100% from you - so unless youre prepared to live in the past with memories of your ex you're just gona have to move on and forget him and concentrate on enjoying your time with this new guy
xx
It does take time to get over someone you have loved. Sometimes it makes it worse when you enter a new relationship coz u find yourself comparing the new guy with ur ex - which is wrong but we do it. I think you should give yourself time - keep reminding yourself of the reasons why you and your ex parted in the first place. Just remember, if it wasnt working out with your ex its time to move on and go out there to find your perfect mate. Good luck.
it will fade with time...just listen to music...and ** him...they rnt worth it...so dont act all depressed about it...u split with him..so there is no reason to cry over spilled milk homes
You're still not over him yet. You need time to heal girl. Take time out for yourself before dating anyone.
You have to cut him out of your life completely. No pictures, letters, telephone calls, etc. Then just give it time and slowly, you will stop thinking of him. It can be a long process but good luck!
Ladies, can you advise?
I have a killer job, I am learning to save so I will someday have something to offer, I try to take care of myself. I thought I was semi-hot most of my years, but now after a divorce ( 1year ago) and trying to date at 36, I am finding very CLEAR from online dating sites, I guess by my looks, or??? I am NOT a catch.
1. How to get AROUND this.
2. Are there some possible red flags I am sending?
It is a little sad... 2 dates but 1 was not interested and the other, well I am not a BBW guy.. I am ok with average I just happen not to be into BBW. Now please not trying to be shallow just describing 2 dates.
What can I do that I have not already tried to make myself available.
I tend to respect boundaries but maybe I pay TOOO much attention to them. For example if I am seeing a band and firls *seem* like they are with guys, I stay away, trying to respect boundaries.
I tried lots of things, even ex is re-marrying, and I cant seem to get a date.Ladies, can you advise?
Dating can be a numbers game. You met 2 people. Keep looking. Keep dating. Get involved with other thing besides the internet to meet people. Get the book called ';Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong';'; so you can clearly define what you're looking for, and understand all the red flags. If you're looking for someone to make a lifelong commitment to, spending a good 6 months to find her isn't much.Ladies, can you advise?
dont try so hard yuou will find that special someone if you stop looking
why don't you try a singles club and not online.Sometimes people are put off by looks but your personalty can carry you through.Patience just don't try too hard,there is someone out there for you.You cannot judge your life on whats happening with the ex...
Goodluck...
It sounds to me like maybe you are trying TOO hard. Also, if you lack self esteem and confidence or come off as too needy, that is a major turn off.
Need more info, like the text you have on your profile.
I know it sounds corny, but join groups in your area that do things your interested in. Sports are great, but even book clubs, stuff like that. If you have a dog, find the local dog park and go on weekends. A lot of my friends meet folks that way. Chin up and good luck!
Don't try so hard hon.You may be coming off as desperate.And not being into BBW is not a crime but you have to remember that ladies are human not barbies or trophy's. Boundaries are good always respect them.
1. How to get AROUND this.
2. Are there some possible red flags I am sending?
It is a little sad... 2 dates but 1 was not interested and the other, well I am not a BBW guy.. I am ok with average I just happen not to be into BBW. Now please not trying to be shallow just describing 2 dates.
What can I do that I have not already tried to make myself available.
I tend to respect boundaries but maybe I pay TOOO much attention to them. For example if I am seeing a band and firls *seem* like they are with guys, I stay away, trying to respect boundaries.
I tried lots of things, even ex is re-marrying, and I cant seem to get a date.Ladies, can you advise?
Dating can be a numbers game. You met 2 people. Keep looking. Keep dating. Get involved with other thing besides the internet to meet people. Get the book called ';Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong';'; so you can clearly define what you're looking for, and understand all the red flags. If you're looking for someone to make a lifelong commitment to, spending a good 6 months to find her isn't much.Ladies, can you advise?
dont try so hard yuou will find that special someone if you stop looking
why don't you try a singles club and not online.Sometimes people are put off by looks but your personalty can carry you through.Patience just don't try too hard,there is someone out there for you.You cannot judge your life on whats happening with the ex...
Goodluck...
It sounds to me like maybe you are trying TOO hard. Also, if you lack self esteem and confidence or come off as too needy, that is a major turn off.
Need more info, like the text you have on your profile.
I know it sounds corny, but join groups in your area that do things your interested in. Sports are great, but even book clubs, stuff like that. If you have a dog, find the local dog park and go on weekends. A lot of my friends meet folks that way. Chin up and good luck!
Don't try so hard hon.You may be coming off as desperate.And not being into BBW is not a crime but you have to remember that ladies are human not barbies or trophy's. Boundaries are good always respect them.
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