Not yet even ';ex-wife'; and dealing with hubby's girlfriend. Would you be mad?

OK...first off, DIVORCE SUCKS!!!! Im over the fact, that my ';soon to be'; ex husband has a g-f. SO WHAT HE HAS HAD LOTS OF THEM. The one that he has now, has been the most stable one. So for my kids sake I can only hope he keeps her for awhile, but I know him to well, and I really feel sorry for her. She thinks she has hit the jack pot, and that he is a great guy, and I know this b/c I was in her shoes EXACTLY, when I met him. He was married, and separated, and I thought he was cute, though, I did not persue him the night we met. He persued me weeks later. It was good, new. I had never met someone so into me. He went and bought me this awesome bracelet from Zales, He went out of his way for me by making mar car payments, GAVE 100.00 B/C he wanted to.


He was AWESOME. I fell hard!!





The only difference for her, is that he comes with two kids. I simply wouldn't have went out with him had he had kids, when I met him. Not that I didn't like kids at that time, but I would not want to ';be labled a home wrecker';. Now with that being said, I may have dated him, if he were DIVORCED... HUGE DIFFERENCE.





We had been back and forth and back and forth, about our marriage. ';Are we gonna get back together, or stay apart.'; He would then date someone new. The girl he has now, she is like g/f # 3 ro 4 I can't remember, and in a very short time frame. I left him the last wk of july of 06.....and by Jan 07 he was dating someone else. He was going between g/f # 1 and # 2 and then when they would dump him he would come running to me. Like a freakin dumb *** ( that is me) we jumped in bed a cpl of times while separated.





On April 26th the night BEFORE our anniversary, he showed up, and things happened between us, and not but maybe a WK later, he shows up with this girl, and OMG.....I went nuts. He moved her in with him like a wk later from that time.....I was sooo hurt. I felt so bad for her, once I calmed down and seen the bigger picture. all this happened almost one yr ago. I knew he was telling her that I was a physco, and telling a lie, that we didn't have sex.....he had her won over. They are still together, and right now, im ok with that. At least she is stable, kind of....he hasn't made it past the one yr mark yet with her. He doesn't like and can't be alone, he never will be. The whole reason we were taking a ';break'; from each other was b/c he claimed he didn't expierience enough single time, during the separation from his FIRST ex-wife. The kicker is he never went alone from the time I left him....until now.





This majorly speeds me up to the present. While im used to the idea of her being ';around'; I have not taken the time to get to know her. I will have to soon, but I want to make sure she lasts. I feel for her, I wish I could say to her right now, ';ask me what you want to know';. I would tell her everything.....and I truly know him and how he would react. He prolly would be listening in, and contradicting me, and TOTALLY taking over the conversation......and then blowing off into the depend. He really looses it sometimes, when he feels he is being attacked, or when he is lieing.





This is what brings me to the question that I made my topic.





Over the weekend, Zack wanted his hair cut, but not buzzed. So I cut it for him, trying to leave it a little longer than I would normally want to.





He leaves to go and be with his dad, and comes back with it BUZZED. Yup, he took him to HAVE THE GAPS evened out. WHATEVER!!!! I felt insulted, and I could hear him in my head saying...';I wish she would leave his hair alone, she can't ******* cut hair'; Then I find out that while dad was with zack target practicing the g/f had our daughter. Which brings me to my question. She is NOT yet a step parent, and I feel she has no right being alone with either one of my kids, Im the mother, not her. I feel that I bore them both and gave birth, what right does she have. NONE.....she is not on the certificate, she is not mentioned in my divorce......omg!!!!! Is this normal, I mean for me to feel this way. My daughter also mentioned that while g/f was playing the x-box she told my daughter that if she TOUCHED the buttons ( or something like that ) that she would spank her. I REALLY FEAR THE DAY SHE TOUCHES ONE OF MY KIDS...............I will friggin loose it!!!!!!!!!!! Once I do there will be no control. These kids are mine and his, noone elses. We are the only two to correct them. Now......if I were dead and they HAD NO MOTHER FIGURE WHAT SO EVER, that would be entirely different. However Im alive and kicking. I would go to hell and back for my kids. I love them wayyyyyyy too much for something like that to happen. The dumb thing is here, he is total playing this...I mean he knows me and how I would re-act....for God sakes, we were together for Nine yrs. He better know. Yet, he hasn't had the oppertunity to put his self in my shoes. I have not dated. My kids have not been around another man, or left alone with another man....and do you know what, even If I were, and He (the other man) threatned that he would spank my child, OH ****......I would go all kinds of nuts. I think this is the reason why I haven't dated, b/c im simply AVOIDING conflict. I don't know how to handle another man other than my ';not even'; ex-husband. ****.......how do I handle this, how do I control the rage Im feeling?????????? What would YOU do????????Not yet even ';ex-wife'; and dealing with hubby's girlfriend. Would you be mad?
Zeena : No offense BUT what did you expect him to do ? Tuck his head between his legs and pout like a whipped little pup ? Your feelings match ALL other womens feelings when kids are involved in a divorce.....'; she better not touch my kids, those are my kids';. It happens to everyone. Would you like to straighten it up??? YOU start dating, then he will be saying the same thing.....'; he better keep his hands off of my kids ';';....You better find a sissy for a boyfriend, you know, one that your soon to be ex can beat up, b/c thats whats going to happen. If you find someone you really care about, your ex will scare him off, so it's better to find someone that you don't care about so that your ex can get it out of his system. It's a big CAT and MOUSE game. Your as guilty as he is.....JUST WATCH AND SEE !!!





P.S. I'll take those thumbs down now....but just wait, I'm right !





OH YEAH...Your a very jealous woman !Not yet even ';ex-wife'; and dealing with hubby's girlfriend. Would you be mad?
I wanna know how the hell you got your ?tion to be that long without having to add any details. I only have a 1,000 character max when I ask. So if anyone knows why..please spare me 5 points and let me in on it!
I'd be highly pissed too, so I don't blame you one earthly bit. I'd tell her, point blank, honey, they're mine and his, like it or not, and if you ever touch or even threated to touch me children, ever again, like I know you already did, I will be owning your hide, remember that sweetheart! That's what I'd tell Missy. I'd also drop it in her ear that he's not what you think, so keep your distance from my children sweat pea, and leave it at that. If she wants to say s hit like that, then maybe it's time to take him to court on the children and rule out that he's unstable to have them in his presense unsupervised. Then you know what's happening when they're near him. You can also set it up to where he doesn't get them if she's present. Sounds like she could be much younger than him too. Lay down the laws NOW with those kids, don't go putting it off any longer or else she'll feel she's Mommy too!
I think you need to stop focusing on her and your ex and focus on yourself.


Too early to worry about whether she would touch your kids, and you should cross that bridge if and when it comes to that.





Other than that - he is your past (except on paper) so deal with that.
whoa. maybe you should sit down and talk with this gf... your ex sounds like he has been at this for awhile.
Did you say he was still married when you started dating him? He was separated, but still not yet divorced? He's a true player and no matter what people say, what goes around comes around... sooner or later. The GF will get hers too, in due time.
You know you need a break as bad as I do. Ifirst of all breathe. second when you get the kids back from him have a girl friend to spend the night and just tell the kids to play quietly in the other room bribe them if you have to. Have a good dinneer with the friend and vent your heart out. You are a saint compared to what I would love to do to mine right now.
Two things to say


1. He is seeing other people now. It sucks. She probably will watch your kids from time to time. Consider her a babysitter. She can't replace you.


2. I would flip out if anyone threatened to spank my child. Let him know that he needs to tell her it is not her place.


Good luck. I am so sorry.