I keep lying to my boyfriend about my ex...help?

so...i dated a guy from the age of 14-20 on and off. i was crazy about him and did whatever i could to make things work while he treated me like ****, lied, and cheated.. until he finally broke it off completely with me because he couldnt take my craziness about him and wanted some space away from me. the next few months were hell for me, and he started dating another girl on top of that. i met a guy after a few months...and he added me on facebook...then msn..then phone etc and i could tell he really liked me but at the same time i thought he was an awesome guy too. we started getting closer and closer until we started going out (6 months after i had broken up with my long-term ex). i had initially told him at the very beginning that im still not completely over my ex and that it bothers me sometimes but at the same time i dont want to give up my chance of starting what could be a great long term relationship with this new guy. he was cool and understanding about it and we hit it off from the start. we had an amazing relatoinshpi together, spent every moment of last summer together. then things started going downhill.


i bumped into my ex and me and him started catching up on things..then started talking on the phone for long periods of time. i did not tell my boyfriend any of this because i knew he wouldnt be ok with it but for some reason i wanted to have my cake and eat it too. i tried justifying the fact that i was talking to my ex on the phone behind my boyfriends back by saying that my bf is too overprotective and would never understand that its hard for me to cut someone like my ex out of mylife considering me and him pretty much grew up together and its weird to not be able to talk to him. however, i obvoiusly know what i was doing was wrong and unfair to my bf so i told my ex we should stop talking. so we stopped talking. then one day, my boyfriend saw all the calls from him on my phone bill and he flipped out, ofcourse. this was in january. our relationship was compeltely ruined because of me and how much i lied to him. he forgave me and i promised him i would never do it again. a few months went by and he drove me crazy because he didnt trust me with a single thing. even if i went to my sisters house he thought i was meeting up with my ex. or if i didnt pickup his calls on time or if i took too long to call him back he would interrogate the **** out of me and it drove me insane. i began to feel like this was going nowhere even after i stopped myself from talking to my ex...nothing was getting better between me and my boyfriend. at times when i felt like ****, i began calling my ex. it was always nice to talk to him and catch up on things. ofcourse, once again..i did not tell my bf and once again, he found out because of some program he put on my laptop. he asked me if i had been talking to him again, i said no. he showed me proof that he knows i was talkingto him and thats the end of that. i feel like a complete idiot and dont know what to do. well theres not much i can do. he told me hes not mad at me but hes completely heart broken. he handled it well..considering ithappened AGAIN. so thats that and we are over. (this just happened last night).


my boyfriend is a great guy.i took him for granted. he was there for me through thick and thin and neverlied to me. i wont ever find a guy like him. but for some reason i just cant stop keeping in touch with my ex. i have no intention of getting back together with my ex even though he wants to. if i could have one wish it would be for my bf to trust me and treat me right even though i know i dont deserve it andall that would matter to me is us being happy. if we could be happy and have a healthy relationshpi where he's not constantly accusing me and interrogating me...i would be happy with him and give up my ex in a heartbeat. i only go to my ex in times of weakness...when i feel like i cant bear the relationshpi with my bf. now my bf is gone..and i dont care about my ex. i lost the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my life. i dont know what todo. i apologized and told him that ims ure he'll find someone a million times betterthan me and its not him who has issues (like i always used to say), its me.


im so tired of telling ppl around me about this and theyre tired of hearing about it so i thought i'd try this blog thing out (first time blogging like this..)


please give me some feedback although im pretty sure most of u will tell me im an idiot and i lost my only chance.I keep lying to my boyfriend about my ex...help?
There are few people who get so used to being treated like shi* that they just do not know how to handle when somebody gives them respect .. you are just one of them .. You have proved that somebody can be stup*d enough to the extent that with their hard work they end up making their life miserable.. I do not blame your boyfriend for not trusting you and leaving you ...





i think the best you can do is not to force him and start afresh as friends .. and slowly try to win his trust again and see where it ends .. If he still loves you then may be you will get another chance in life which i hope you won't ruinI keep lying to my boyfriend about my ex...help?
how many answers are u allowed

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You have issues... that cannot be properly diagnosed here.





The simple: Move on.
okay.


i haven't read your story..


but the sooner you confess it your bf the better.
Just finished reading the story,


and i know how much people hate to hear it, but i actually understand what u went thru.. i kinda had a similar situation.. i broke up with my ex in '07 and he left for the army. we kept in contact every 6 months or so till he came back in dec. '08 for a holiday.. now i had been a virgin till then, and had a current bf who was not a bad guy.. but when i started talking to my ex again, my heart just jumped and i was all infatuated with him again..


*sigh* we saw eachother till the end of january, he took my virginity ((not something u wanted to know, but its to understand that i was really head over heels, and now emotionally attached to him..)) and he went back to the army.. a month later he came for a weekend, and since i still live with my parents, they let him stay over..


he'd called me every night, until one week he stopped contacting me completely,.... 2 weeks, 3... and he told me once that he was going overseas... his brother told me that they had a wild night and went screwing other chicks %26gt;.%26lt;


i got dumped by text the day before anzac day. the day that represents all the army people..


sorry bout my little story.. but i do know how it feels..


it'll take a while, but i s'pose you'll learn to move on.. ';time heals everything';.. as stupid as it is..





but yes! thanks for putting up with my rambling..


not that you had a choice..


take it easy, and things will pick up.. if its meant to be, it will be.


xx
Your bf (no offence) sounds like a D*uche Bag. He needs to know its not bad for you to talk. When things get more serious he should do this. But what he is doing now is rude, and controling. But most of all YOU need to make up your mind. You can keep talking to ex but let your bf know your choice not by word but by action. And pls next time split Q up! too long ^^.





GL!
you know that you did wrong with your boy friend.. you had a long relationship with your ex .. so you could not forget him easily.. but chill now.. you have forgotten your ex..... now , write a letter to your bf.. confessing about everything... what you feel about him.. show him the depth of your love... make true promises... ask him to give you a one last chance.. he will surely trust you... have faith in god.. everything will be alright
If there's no chance at all of you getting back with your recent boyfriend, at least you have learned from the experience. It might be hard, but if you find another guy that seems like the one for you, focus on him, turn to him when you're feeling weak, try not to let your ex have a shadow over your relationship.





I understand it may be difficult to let your ex-bf go, but it might be the best thing for you and future relationships. Your partners don't want to see you turning to an ex for help, they want you to go to them. If you can't go to your partner, go to family/friends.