Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Should I apologize to my ex girlfriend even though I don't feel that I started the fued? (Female insight only)?

Sorry for the length. Bare with me. My ex girlfriend and I had a huge falling out a few months back. When she and I started hanging out again after our initial break up, she wasn't sure if she wanted to get back together. One day she would want to get back together, then the next day she wouldn't. She would then tell me that she didn't want to be in a relationship and that she didn't mind if I dated other girls. So I began to date my current girlfriend. Well, my ex got very jealous and upset and stopped talking to me all together. It got very ugly and the mudslinging thing began. She started saying some very nasty things about my girlfriend and I, and (like the fool I am) I began to retaliate out of anger and frustration. I thought to myself, ';What the hell does she want from me?'; Anyway, it's gotten way out of hand. I wanted to know if I should be the bigger person and send her an e-mail expressing how bad I feel at how things ended and apologize for the part that I played in the situation. Deep down, I don't feel sorry for dating other people, after all she told me that she didn't mind. I do feel bad that I allowed myself to let my anger and frustration get the best of me and when I started bad mouthing her to the people she was bad mouthing me to. I just want to make peace, because I do care about her as a person. I don't want to get back together, but I just want us to be able to be friendly. I don't know how much good it would even do. She's pretty stubborn and can hold a huge grudge. I think that she's mad at herself but has too much pride (which I admit, I do too) to accept responsibility.Should I apologize to my ex girlfriend even though I don't feel that I started the fued? (Female insight only)?
i would say it would be a good idea to apologize.


but make it clear that you dont want to get back together.


tell her about how you care about her as a person.


let her know that she can be mad if she wants you just want to end this.


i guess. hahaShould I apologize to my ex girlfriend even though I don't feel that I started the fued? (Female insight only)?
i would say yes, apologize for what you did, dont bring up what she did, for most likely she already knows haha but just be the bigger person and say pretty much sorry thats what you said for me to do now leave me alone. that could be all she is looking for too, is an apology cuz she thinks that its all your fault. sometimes yes us girls are stupid like that and dont like to admit we are in the wrong.
We girls are stubborn, headstrong, and only take what we think most of the time. I know you are right, and you know you are right, and really that is all that really matters. I would apologize to her just to end this crazy nonsense. Life is to short to fight, so good luck.
You know her better than we do. It might not hurt to offer an apology for the things that you did: to say that you are sorry for the hurtful things you did, that you had always seen her as a nice person, and it is disturbing to see things as they have become between you, with endless mudslinging. Say that you would like to see peace and kindness prevail between you, and in that spirit, you are apologizing for your role and for the unkind things you have said.





However, this all could have been avoided if you had just avoided reacting to the mudslinging and the pissyness to begin with. Because really, I don't understand this idea that I constantly read about, where everyone seems to get cranked about things that exes do or don't do. It makes me want to scream. An ex is an ex! You don't control anyone else's actions anyway, and least of all an ex's. So, what she wanted from you was to have her cake (not be with you) and eat it too (';reserve'; the option to control who you dated) which is not only patently unfair, but it is completely idiotic, too.
As a girl for some reason we always think we're right... to bury the hatchet apologize and it wouldn't hurt to get a friendly gift so she knows you actually care... if all fails at least you tried?

2 comments:

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