I really want my ex back even though he was abusive towards me. Is there something wrong with me?

For the past 3 weeks I have found my self longing for my abusive ex and my babies father's presence. I don't know whats wrong with me my life just doesn't feel complete without him and I have been getting really depressed lately. It has always been like this even when we were together it's like he would physically harm me, or call me a name, or bring me down and I would get away from him , but within a few hours I was always back in his arms.


It's like when we were dating he had become a part of my life and I do not know how to let go and I am really considering taking him back. Because one I am 5 months pregnant and he is the child's father and two even though he acted like a jerk to me and hurt me sometimes when he wasn't angry he was a real sweet heart, he was funny, he was fun, and he knows how to ';talk to a girl'; if you know what I mean. And there is really no one else like him you would have to really know him to know what I mean. Call me crazy but, I really miss him and he says he misses me too because he keeps on texting, calling,coming by my locker, my house, and all this stuff begging to have me back and that he wants to be there for his child and he is just an emotional wreck now. I also have a boyfriend as of right now but, he is no ashton (my ex's name) and he really is a great guy , but I just feel my self yearning towards my ex more. is this so bad?I really want my ex back even though he was abusive towards me. Is there something wrong with me?
I understand where you are coming from because I used to feel the same way too and I had no idea why. This was 5 years ago and it took a lot of time for me to figure out what was going on. Don't be scared to say No! and don't be scared to stick up for what you believe in. And most of all believe in yourself. If you need to talk please feel free to email meI really want my ex back even though he was abusive towards me. Is there something wrong with me?
Sounds like he's stripped you of any bit of self confidence and respect you had making you feel like you 'need' him.





You really don't!





Stay away from him for the sake of your child.


The baby is all that should matter now. Your need for him should be overlooked. You never know how he'll act around that child and you don't want your child growing up viewing this.





It's a no brainer- stay away from him.





It may hurt not having someone, and you may crave his 'love' (which it is not, because no man in love would EVER hurt their partner) but you need to forget him.





If you don't, you're a fool, and i'm sorry to say- a bad mother.
There's nothing wrong with you. The way you are feeling is absolutely normal. Ashton was a big part of your life, and an abusive relationship is often like a drug habit: the lows (abuse) are really bad, but the highs (when he's being nice) feel phenomenal and you miss them when you try to go back to normal. Many abused women miss their exes, and many return to them.





That doesn't mean you should give in to your feelings, however, anymore then a recovering drug addict who misses getting high. You already left him; that takes a lot of strength. Don't mess it up now. You are better off with a real man who treats you with respect, even if that does seem ';boring'; to you after Ashton. Your child is better off without a daddy who hits or belittles him/her. As a mother, it is your duty to protect your child. Even if he leaves the kid alone, it's bad for kids to see their dad abusing their mom. It's scary and it teaches them that's normal. Do you want your son to grow up and treat women that way, or your daughter to seek out a man like that and put up with that kind of abuse? Many children who grow up around abuse imitate it in their own lives, just like children who grow up in respectful homes usually have respectful relationships. If your baby isn't even born yet, congratulations. You have a chance to raise your child without any of the damage abuse causes. Yes, children usually benefit from being with their fathers, but a single mother or a loving stepfather is much, much better than an abusive father. You are biologically driven to think otherwise, because starving to death is worse than being beaten and historically, women and children needed men to provide. But that's not true anymore. I expect you're capable of supporting yourself and your child, but even if you need help for a while, that's what welfare and battered women's shelters are for. You and your baby can live without a man, so why go to an abusive one who causes more problems than he solves?





I'd advise you to get counseling to deal with your feeling towards Ashton and build up your self-respect so you don't go with another man who abuses you. I'd also advise you to get a restraining order. Just go to the courthouse and ask. It's not too complicated, and you shouldn't have to deal with an abusive man stalking you and trying to get you to let him abuse you again. He's playing on your pity by saying he's having emotional problems. So what? That's not an excuse to hit your girlfriend. If you go back to him, there'll probably be a short honeymoon period, then he'll have a bad day and go back to the way he was before. And I bet he's only talking about the baby to manipulate you. Abusive men are almost always bad, uncaring fathers. When the baby is born, you need to talk to a lawyer about limiting Ashton's visitation rights as much as possible. If he hit you, there's a pretty good chance he'll hit his child. And that's just wrong.





I really hope you get through this difficult time without dooming yourself and your innocent child to a life of abuse.
sometimes ya'll gotta call the cops, ask them then, maybe based on experience they can really say, stay married for ever, or haul him off to jail.
your co-dependant, and addicted to men, even if the guy is a total loser, which he sounds like a very sick man, i fhe abuses you he'll abuse your kids i would call DSS on his sorry ***, never mind worry about guettin laid. go to church and find inner peace, not thinking a man will fix you, allot of woman are the same, and personally i'm sick of it, if i see a guy abusing their spouce and i'm around i will say something, cuz it is peopl'e business, that's why some poor soul ends up dead and on CNN after a murder happens because of some selfish asshole who needs his *** kicked and a total schooling on how to be a decent human being, not pick on someone weaker than themselves.i'm very blunt, sorry, i just don't candy coat anything, if people started to care about their neighbors more their would be allot less abuse in the world, just makes me sick when i see it.
Dont go back out with him he sounds like a dush
only if you want to get hurt some more. if he was abusive once. why even bother. it's your choice
I understand, although I am not pregnant, I have an abusive (verbally) ex boyfriend, so I know what it feels like to want someone like that.





My advise is that you put your baby first now, what is going to be best for them? Is it to have someone in their life all the time that is abusive to it's mum? I know he will need to be in its life, but I think it will be much better for all three of you if you are not together.





What child wants to see their mum and dad fighting?