Should I stay married to my new husband or leave him for my ex husband who I am in love with?

I have been married for four months, I married my best friend after he asked me to marry him eight times because I honestly thought it would be great for our kids and I knew how lonely he was since his wife died. I am still in love with my ex husband who I share an 18 month old baby with, my husband knew this before we got married. In fact the night before our wedding I was crying in his arms telling him I didn't think I was ready because I was still in love with my ex. He convinced me that our new life together would be best for everyone and that we would get through this because of our faith in God and love for eachother's family. Our family has blended well, our children are happy and my husband is happy. I am not! I don't want to be selfish but I love my ex even after the things he did to me in the past and our son doesnt even know him. Now he wants me to leave my husband and move out of state to be with him, would this be best for our baby? He is sober nowShould I stay married to my new husband or leave him for my ex husband who I am in love with?
The reasons you got the divorce in the first place have not really changed. He might not be drinking right now, that can change back to old habits. I married my ex twice and the reason we divorced in the first place reared it's ugly head and we divorced again. Your ex lives in another state so you really don't know whats changed. If he wanted a relationship with your son he would move closer to you. He hasn't. That should tell you something. It sounds like your son has a wonderful father now. It is his stepfather. If you leave a good father for your child and go back to the bio. father he may not be as good a dad. Think about the reasons that he is your ex!


If a person has changed it takes years to change and most men don't change much. Do what you feel is best, but please think it through.Should I stay married to my new husband or leave him for my ex husband who I am in love with?
follow ur heart but be careful, there is a reason y u and ur ex split
All things considered, stay where you are. AA members are told not to have any relationships for at least 2 years of sobrierty anyway...but this waffling between men is harmful for your kids. Let their lifes have some peace and stability and your ex can still have visitation with his child and get to know him. You are in love with what he COULD be, not what he has proven himself to be. Mourn for what was lost, rejoice for what God has given you in this new life.
I would give the new marriage a chance. You said you married your best friend that makes the best marriage because you friends first and lovers second.
You should have acted on your intuition before you got hitched again for a guy you dont love. Way to go and break his heart. Divorce the poor sap, dont take anything from him and pay for the whole divorce if you have any dignity and care for your current husband. You already know your marriage with him is doomed. You just want approval.





My ex-said I am a good girl when she cheated on me.
Stay with your husband, think of your baby. Who knows if he will stay sober, is that a chance you are willing to take with a baby. And is it fair to move the baby that far away from a loving Dad.
Do not leave your husband as you are really lucky to have him and try and lead a satisfied life with him.I am not telling you to forget your past as you have memories but this does not mean you should mess up with so many lives.Your husband and your kids are happy,so be satisfied with what you have.
Maybe you shouldn't have married again so soon but you did. So, your husband is entitled to more consideration than you're giving him being hung up on your ex. (By the way, what makes you think your ex is suddenly Mr. Right after being bad enough to warrant getting a divorce in the first place?) You don't seem to have much respect for marriage, so being married to you probably doesn't mean very much, but it is supposed to. You can grow up anytime you want to. (';I don't want to be selfish, BUT...';...famous last words, huh?) Who will you run crying to after Mr. Right hits the sauce again? I wouldn't ordinarily advise sacrificing your own happiness strictly for the sake of the children, but if their lives have radically improved since your involvement with your first husband ended, that's a substantial hint that he wasn't any good for all concerned....you should probably think long and hard about your next move, because you seem to be seeking approval to tear things up again. You're an adult; you don't need anyone's permission, but for God's sake BE an adult and OWN your own decisions.
You should have never committed yourself to another person.
Is being in love with your ex an excuse becuase your not in love with your husband. Listen it sounds like you need to be alone for a little while with your baby. 18months is very young and while you shouldn't be with someone you don't love you should probably figure out what would make you marry them??? Marriage is not something your talked into? I think you should let your child have a relationship with its real father but that doesn't mean you need to. Are you the type who just can't be alone?
Dont do it. It will never work. There is too much bad stuff between the two of you. Move on and give this marriage a try.
wow... that's a tough one.


you're still in love with your ex. you should be with him. you shouldn't have to stay with somebody you don't even love. in my opinion, yous houldn't have married him in the first place when you knew in your heart that it wasn't right.


a divorce would be tough on your kids, and they would miss yoru new husband, but kids are flexible and would eventually get used to the new life you're living. they're young, so they probably won't remember much of this when they get older anyways. you just have to go by your best judgment. i think you should leave the husband you're with now-- you don't even love him.


keep in mind that just because you 2 aren't married doesn't mean you can't still be in each other's lives.
leaving a drunk was a right decision.


getting married, while still in love with your ex was a wrong decision.


you leaving your current hubby to be with your ex may be another wrong decision, but staying married to someone you don't love is also wrong decision.





what's best for your baby is to have a happy and loved mom.





trusting an ex drunk is a risky thing... but then, trusting a person with bipolar disorder is also risky.(ask my wife)





high risk, high reward.





life is short. find happiness.
No do not go back with him I have been married twice also don't get me wrong I love my ex with all my heart, but I know that he is no good for me so I would not go back to him, because I found a great guy who loves me with all his heart and takes good care of my son and me, and it sounds like thats what you have also.
please stay with your new husband as he loves you and your child.. your old husband is still a drunk .. you are better off with the new husband.. than the old one.. ... good luck.. time will tell give it time
No, are you stupid. You have found a good man, with good intentions, and you are wanting to take a chance on it, especially with someone who already has mistreated you in the past. I would say that if you did choose to follow and go back with your ex husband, you deserve everything that is coming to you plus more. You are a parent now, and frankly speaking, your wants have to take a sidestep to what your children NEED, and what would be best for them.
I think you are completely messed up. Why destroy another marriage for something that may not work out?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO





stay with the new husband....you have not even given this marriage a year yet and you are willing to chuck it all...stay put is my advise
';I am still in love with my ex husband'; So you basically lied to this other guy to get married...he has grounds of annulment based upon Fraud on your part.
I will say follow your heart!! life is only one!!


you should not have gotten married if you were not sure..but if you love your ex...believe me you always will and never be happy and, you will end up in divorce any way. down the road!! i think is better regret something you did.. and not feel sorry cuss you dint... try...BUT BEFORE ANYTHING...THINK IT TWICE...
Sounds like you are married to a good man...someone who cares for you, supports you and is good to your children. It's sad that you are still in love with your Ex, but you need to think about what kind of a life you would have with him, potentially unstable...





Personally, I think you should give it some time with your new husband. Tell your Ex that you need six months without contact from him to see what your heart tells you to do. For those six months, try making things work with your husband, love him, give to him and let him give to you. Then if after six months you are still having these feelings for your Ex perhaps you can explore the idea of being with him.
I think you need therapy and counseling . No dont move untill you get counseling and therapy because you are not emotionally stable enough to make any decisions right now . I wish you luck but get the therapy or counseling .
how much do you really love him if you divorced him ?
do not go ... he is playing you .....you have to be strong and take care of your family and the people that love you.
whoa . . . first off i agree with everyone saying you shouldve never gotten married and made such a commitment when you werent in love with him.


secondly do you really want to bring your totally stable child into something you're uncertain of? just because you love someone doesnt mean theyre the person for you. he proved you wrong once when he wasnt sober. and completing the AA program doesnt really prove that he's a changed man. dont risk your childs well being so quickly.


i think you should either try marriage counseling with your current husband and if not then leave him but not for your ex. use that time to truly find what you need for you and your child.
My god, what a mess. I'd say you definitely shouldn't be with the man you're not in love with and, apparently, have never been in love with - he might think he's happy now, but it sounds like you will only end up making each other miserable - not to mention that you already ARE miserable.





But that doesn't mean you should be with your ex husband, either. Presumably he's your ex husband for a reason, right? You might still love him, but if things were bad enough that you got divorced... what, is the relationship suddenly going to magically fix itself? Doesn't sound like the two of you had a very healthy relationship, with your talk of the 'things he did to you' and the fact that he's 'sober now' (for how long?)





Might be best for you (and your kids) for you to not to be with either of them, I'd say.
WOW If you married someone you do not love for the sake of your children, then why would you choose love over safety now. Typical...you want it all and do not care who gets hurt in the process
does he want to be with you? you should try to work it out...are you going to just jump ship when things don't work out in your marraige? i would give it about a year and if you still want him and he is still sober than you should.
Girl, you might think that it is best for you and your kids now but now what happens if he change nowin that you r back with him. You are putin you and your kids heart in the jungle you don't want to do that. I know that you said your husbund knows that you r still in love with your ex, but you should of never married him no matter how bad you feel for him knowing what happen to his wife, you don't do things like that. You should of just be his girlfriend and take things slow. Cause look at whats happens to you , you are confused and he might end up getting hurt again. He isn't ready for a relationship right know cause he griefing isn't over yet and your isn't either. What's done is done so what you have to do know is stay with him for another couple of months and see if your feelings still takes a toll on you then its up to you. Really and truely its not whats best to you it's what best for your kids, if they already call him or looks up to him as a daddy then why not leave the family the way it is.
I think you should distance yourself from both. If you are aren't in love with your husband you shouldn't have married him in the first place. Second if your ex is still recovering, you should maybe give both of you more time to figure out what you want in life. You don't have to be with one or the other, you can be by yourself until a clear answer presents itself to you! Good luck
why don't you invite both of them and tell them to do a full monty in front of yo and your friends