Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Should I try for full custody? Alcoholic ex and emotionally abusive?

I was married for 11 years and we divorced a year and a half ago. Were both remarried. When I was with my ex he physically and emotionally abused me and emotionally abused the kids. I had him arrested and filled restraining orders. When we finally divorced i just did joint physical and legal custody. I have them for a week and then he has them for a week (same school district). He is drunk most of the time and tells the kids horrible stuff about me, the girls stay locked in their rooms at his house most times because he is so mean. he has never physically hurt them but he screams and cusses and them and tell the older one (10) that she is a slut and a b**** like her mom. Him and his ex constantly text me 100's of texts a day threatening me and cussing me out. He subtracts all kinds of stuff my my child support and I end up with nothing. I finally changed our phone numbers and have court ordered withdrawals from his check. He drives the girls around when he is drunk, and he still comes over to pick the girls up for his time and when he's drunk he'll go into our garage and shed and take stuff from there saying it's his. I have had to call the cops a few times on him. He also beat his new wife and she called the police on him and he had a mandatory stay in jail for 12 hours, she didn't file any charges. He is crazy....he even called the police when she was going to move out and said the car was stolen, so they pulled her over thinking she stole the car until she could prove it was hers. In the divorce I got the house but he still considers it his, he constantly tries to get a hold of my new husband to threaten him and wants to fight him especially when he is drunk...which is most of the time. I DO NT WANT MY GIRLS OVER THERE. one is almost 13 and she will be able to pick where to go, but they still want to go there because he does stuff for them after they are scared and don't want to live there anymore: like buying new puppies, buying them stuff, taking them places etc. but he never apologizes and I can tell how much it affects them and I'm scared to death for them when they are there and I dont hear from them.


What can I do. Family Services said if he is drunk, his wife is still there so someone is there with the kids. There has to be something I can do, even though I know the girls will hate me for awhile. They know how he is and remember how he use to hit me and how mean he is to his new wife and how he says horrible hurtful things to them.....someone please help. I live in missouriShould I try for full custody? Alcoholic ex and emotionally abusive?
Okay, how do you know what happens? Do the girls tell you? If they do on a regular basis, what you need to do is buy a small digital recorder. You can tape them without telling them you're doing it (so they don't clam up!) then you can transfer the recordings to your computer and onto a CD. Take it to an attorney and they will help you take your documented case to court. Don't forget to state the day and time that you start each recording.





Also keep the texts that they send. It's more documentation.Should I try for full custody? Alcoholic ex and emotionally abusive?
My husband and I are going through another custody battle with his ex-wife. I feel your pain believe me! My best advice to you which has come from our attorney is to document EVERYTHING! Keep track of all activities you do with the children that are beneficial to their personal growth. Keep detailed records of anything the children tell you that happens at your ex's house. The tape recorder is a great idea! Make sure your have all police reports from anytime you have called the police. Keep track of all the child support payments he has given you that were not right. Really to sum it up just keep detailed records of everything! Anything dealing with your children you need some sort of paper trail. You should definitely go for full custody by the way! It doesn't sound like your ex has it together enough to care for his children! Also ask that a mental health professional be appointed to talk with you, the children, your ex, and new spouses. That person will be able to make a very good recommendation regarding the child custody! Hope this helps you and I hope everything works out for you and for your children!
You have plenty of evidence-all those texts with threats from him %26amp; his wife. Use them. You have got to get your kids away from him. He is dangerous.

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