The ex effect..current bf..I need help please.?

Here's my story: when i was a kid 15 I met this boy he was 16 going on 17 and we dated officially for only 5 months. It was that one of a kind love, although I was young I was very mature for my age. But i also made some bad decisions and had to move to a new city (with mom).. Well at this time I was 16 and if you could imaging just totally broken hearted..the move was so unsuspected , but we kept contact , trying to continue things..we would get the chance to c eachother like 1 a month :(.so okay at 17 I was still very much in love with him..I remeber doing everything I could just to talk to him, so that I can express to him how I felt, and this guy is no easy cookie to break..but deep down he knew I cared and I knew he still cared..my plan was to move back to where he was as soon as I turned 18. at this time we were seeing other people..I never never expected the news I was about to hear...so one day I call him up and playfully tell him that I heard that he got his chick knocked up..and he replied: where did you hear about that? I was shocked, but he explained that he thought she was but her test came out negative..I was hurt but what could I do..I had accepted long before that I had no holds to him being all the way where I was..but I did my best to stay in his heart..and he always expressed that I was..Just is certain ways like singing our ';love'; songs to me over the phone, staying on the phone for hours at a time with out even having to say anything..promising me that when I came back to him we would get married. So on a different day I call him and theres all kind of camotion in the backround and he tells me that he's gonna be a dad..I didn't even know that to say, I just broke down. all of my dreams for a life with him being destroyed...so i hang up.. try to accept what is happening..but thats impossible..but he calls me and it's kind of awkward but he expressed that he made a horrible mistake that he ';loves'; this girl because he is used to her. So in my sick head filled with silly hopes i continue to have this ';relationship';..but I started to get out and I met this guy..and we start getting seriouse fast..I was still really in love with my ex..but i just wasn't in the right mind to make any right decisions..so i contined this new relations with full realization that it was wrong to lead this guy on ..well anyway i have been living with this guy for 2 yrs now ..im now 19 and still have strong feelings for my ex..its horrible i know that..I don't know what to do ..I'v had yrs to forget about my ex..even after all that horrible stuff he put me through I still care for him intensly..we still talk everynow and then..the times we don't is because I try to stay strong and not let him interfere with my current relationship. but no matter how hard I try , i cant stop these feelings.. and if i wanted to do anything about them it's not like i could now..I'm with this special guy who i share this amazing bond with, whom takes care of me and accepts me and adores me...i feel so guilty though just the thought of my heart betraying him like this..my ex still hopes we will have a future together but it's been yrs and nothing has happened..I hate this. Do you think I should come clean with my bf? ( he works grave yards..all week long..we hardley ever get out..when he's home he sleeps till 3 in the pm..goes to work at 8..it's just all taking a tole on me..im too young for this ****..to be at home all the time.. do you think me and my ex are meant to b together and thats why we can't stay away from eachother? I post this on yahoo/a because im too ashamed to say anything to anyone I know..because i know I sound foolish and ignorant..but I just don't know what to do.. please give me any opinions you have..


Thank You..p.s. be blunt ,cruel, whatever mainly be honest ..i wanna snap out of this and see the whole picture,maybe you can help..its a real issue.The ex effect..current bf..I need help please.?
I can tell you right now that its waaaay to complicated and you need to simplify things and figure out what matters the most to you cuz babbling mindlessly like that is something that maybe you should take to a psychologist. Whatev the *** that column was about i wish you luck but overanalyzing can drive you crazy i hope the rant made you feel a bit better at leastThe ex effect..current bf..I need help please.?
to much righting ...i guess yes?
If you want cruel and bluntness I will easily give it to you. First of all, yes it is very wrong for you to be talking about a future with another man that is not your boyfriend. And being up front that is emotional cheating. You may not be physically cheating with your ex but all of your emotions are invested in him which is extremely unfair to your boyfriend.





You need to break off all connections with your ex if you ever want to move on. He isn't good for you. Think of all the promises he made you and then at the same time went and slept with other girls and even got one pregnant. He obviously is with this other girl and is still telling you he wants a future?





Sweetie, he is very sketchy. He is not anyone you want to bank on because at the drop of a hat he will leave. He is one of those guys that goes where ever it suits him.





If you really love the guy you are with you would break off all connections with your ex. AND sit down and come clean. Your boyfriend will be hurt at first but let him know you are ready to leave your ex behind and then do it. Honesty is the most important thing in a relationship, along with communication.





Good luck.
well, you have two options. the first and most common that you will probably get is to ';move on,'; right? that would be the sanest thing to do, as well as the hardest. just like it has been so far for you apparently.


however, the second option is that you hare just going to follow your heart, which is also pretty hard to do. And the reason for this is that in following your heart, you are going in blindfolded and you could go one of two ways: you are either going to find what it is you were looking for with your ex, what could apparently be considered was meant to be, OR you could be at one point if you go back to your ex, you will find that it was a mistake to have gone back to him. Its a big risk. Happiness and love, or total loss and heartache. But then again, there can be no gain if there is no pain, and sometimes pain is necessary to move on. And when i say pain, i am referring to the pain of the disilusionment if things go wrong with your ex. If this is the case, though, it is not a total loss, because after the pain, at least you would now have a reason to finally stop thinking about him and finally ';move on.';


So, there is a great chance of happiness, as well as there is a big chance of heartache, but like i said, after the heartache, there is an easier way for a breakthrough, which in this case could be referred to as piece of mind and finally be over what could have been and then truly move on with your life like you should have from the beginning that you guys were separated. you can't win if you dont risk. maybe, MAYBE, you should follow your heart. otherwise, you will be restless over this other guy and never get over it. Good Luck.
you have no idea how you feel about anyone! how do u expect others to guess wts on your mind??!!and i dont thk ur meant for eac other..youre just so attached to that guy..thats ol i gess
Well, I don't really know you guys to say if you're meant to be or not, but I think you and your ex are really cute. You can't really forget your great loves, and if he was your first boyfriend, you especially can't forget those.


But he has a kid now. And he has a girl. Do you want to be the person who takes another woman's man? Or the one who makes the kid a bastard or not have what people consider a ';normal'; childhood... (Taking away his dad)


Getting involved in a triangle will be harsh, but then again, your only way to see how much you mean to him.


Then you have this guy? Does he make you happy at all?





But then if you think about it... If your ex loved you as much as he tells you he does, why didn't he ever go to get you? Be your knight in shining armor.
OK, you only spent 5 months with him in real time. The rest of the time was spent over the phone and very far away from him. So really you never got to the nitty gritty of what a relationship is all about on a daily basis. 15 is a VERY impressionable age, meaning this love was so potent, then to crown it all, you were parted against your wishes, this leads a a sort of ideation of the person which you have of him.





He has moved on, but he still cares about you as a person. He did the regular things a person would do, he continued to care about you but perhaps it changed over time. I think with your current relationship and any to follow, you will always hanker after him, you ex, if things are not perfect, because he is. Or so you think.





Love never goes away really, it just changes shape. So realize he loves you enough to be in contact with you and care, but he is in love with another. This means he never has to ';go out of your life'; completely if you so wish it. But don't let his ghost destroy your current life. You only have one remember that.
just smell the coffee and WAKE UP. Look at the facts here. Your ex is going to become a daddy. He went on and had a relationship with another woman. (BETRAYAL). Ask yourself, do you like the man in your current relationship? Or is he just a fallback? Is your ex still with this other woman? If so, he has a CHILD to take care of so he's NOT coming back. Any emotions that you haven't expressed to your ex about this situation, let him know. BE STRONG. After that, accept the fact that there can't be anything you can do except be his friend. Then, simply MOVE ON and LIVE.
well im still in love with this girl but i just try to not think about he and eventually i stop thinking about her for short periods of time(2 3 weeks)