Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Should I live with my ex even though we broke up? Help!?

My ex boyfriend and I broke up a week ago today and he now has a ';friend'; he hangs out with all the time. Let's take this story back to the beginning...

A week ago, he decided we should break up because of a multitude of reasons. He couldn't give specifics on anything - trust issues? No examples. Didn't find me sexually attractive? I have a killer body from when we first met and I was almost 200 pounds. So I agreed. He then says he still wants to live with me because he and I are best friends, which is true - during our relationship - we have been great friends. So I agree - especially since I didn't want to break up because I love him beyond belief.

A month before this, we were at a Christmas party and he meets this guy. They seemed chatty and actually hung out all night long while I mingled. He always said he wanted more friends and he and the guy exchanged numbers - began texting and had coffee, etc.

After Christmas, the break up talk comes up. After we break up, not only does he not leave the bed (we slept together still after breaking up), he still acts as if we are a couple - until the first full week of the breakup - when he has plans to go out with the Christmas party guy. The first night, he doesn't respond to any texts and doesn't come home until super late. We slept in separate beds for the first time that night too. The next night is the kicker...

He says he has to go work on some paperwork for school and would be a coffee shop he frequents. Everything is fine but then an emergency comes up and I need his help. No responses to texts. Doesn't answer his phone. Our dog was having trouble breathing so I took the dog to the animal hospital next to the coffee house he frequents. I drop the dog off and go to look for him. He's not there. He finally calls and I asked him where he was and he says at the coffee shop. Hmmmm.. So what do I do? I drove to the Christmas party guys house and I see his car there! He finally admits he lied because he didn't want to hurt my feelings because he knew I was having a hard time with this. But that a bunch of people were over to watch American Idol and his phone was in his jacket. We spend the rest of the night talking - me, teary-eyed, professing my undying love for him, and him still saying he doesn't know what he wants. But, after I finish, he says that what I have said changes things but he doesn't know how yet.

So the next night, we go to dinner and talk more about it. It was still hard to talk about at dinner because - keep in mind - I didn't want this to happen - he did. I find out at dinner that he had made dinner plans with Christmas party guy and Christmas party guy's friend. I said - okay, well I am going out too.

So I go out - trying to enjoy my newly found single life, and who walks in the door. My ex and Christmas party guy - and my ex avoids me at all costs. There were some light hugging between them all through the night but I tried to let it go.

I get home around 4:00 a.m. from being out and he is not at home. I didn't text because he doesn't respond to any of my texts when he is with Christmas party guy anyway. So around 9:00 a.m. the next day, he strolls in from sleeping over at Christmas party guy's house. He assures me that nothing happened - he slept on his couch because he was too drunk to drive back home. He also admits to kissing this guy.

I need advise on a multitude of levels!! HA! An unbiased opinions would be great for a change. Here they go...

(1) Should I continue to live with my ex in a best friend status in hopes that something may happen between us again?

(2) Do you think my ex left me for Christmas party guy, even though he assures me that they were only friends, but now have advanced to 'talking'?

(3) Do I have a right to question what he is doing and what is up because it drives me crazy?

(4) How can I force him to make a decision about us instead of feeling like I am a grand experiement while he ';finds himself again';?

All advise is appreciated! YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!Should I live with my ex even though we broke up? Help!?
way too long. but as soon as i read the title... NO.

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