Tuesday, August 10, 2010

My ma is involved with ex, even though she knows he abused my kids.?

Four yrs ago my ex-boyfriends and I split up and my son's felt safe to tell me about his abusive acts. All reported to cops, he was never convicted. We attained protection orders. But my dad died just a month later and I found out my mom had been involved with this monster even before he and I split up. She didn't know I knew. But when my kids told me what he'd done to them, I expected she would let him go. She didn't. I don't visit anymore, but am devistated by the fact that she would continue to see a man who does these crimes to children, moreless an ex boyfriend. And I've been to hurt to confront her. My older son did, and she denied it, said he was crazy. Younger son won't talk to her. Several people have tried to confront her, but she become's enraged and go's into a frenzy telling everyone she'd never do such a thing. But we've all seen it. I miss my mom. My kids feel betrayed and won't forgive her. Oh, she introduce's HIM to visiting relative's that don't know the truth about about what he did to my son's and we don't know what is being said, but we are slowly losing our entire extended family members by her lies. My brother says she is using and when she has invites, they love the new supply guy/my ex. How insane is all of this? Apparently it's not just about physicality, but money and product, and now the relatives are getting involved, not just using, but producing and distributing. I hope they don't get involved with his other business with assaulting children as well. When I say assault, you know what I mean. HELPMy ma is involved with ex, even though she knows he abused my kids.?
If this is true, then your mom is really messed up. You did the right thing by getting your children out of the situation, and unfortunately that's really all you can do. You don't have control of your mom or anyone else, and even though what she's doing is wrong on so many levels, all you can do is make sure you're not involved.

My advice is to make sure everyone knows the truth, whether they choose to deny it or not, and let them know exactly how you feel about it and what actions you're going to take because of it. After that, let your mom be the one to contact you when she straightens up, you just need to work on yourself, and your kids and if they choose to act like that, just don't associate with them at all.My ma is involved with ex, even though she knows he abused my kids.?
The worst part of it all is that you exposed your children to this MONSTER! YOU are the one that brought him into everyone's lives!
another heart warming tale from the trailer park.
Contact Jerry Springer
Wait until they are all together producing and have them busted.

Sorry but your relatives sounds like trailer park trash and you didn't lose anything.Get into church hon, you can have the family you always wanted.The United Pentecostal churches are good try one of them.
Why wasn't he convicted? Did you go to court? Did the boys testify?

Try it again. The man needs to be in jail.

Your mom doesn't want to believe it, so she won't. The whole situation sounds skewed to me. Product? Sorry to sound naive, but does that mean your family is making and selling drugs? Your children don't have a chance if they have anything to do with any of these losers.

Family is important, but when they are poison, you need to get as far away as possible and don't look back. As hard as it is, pack up those kids and move to another city. There ARE jobs out there to be had, you just have to hold your head up high and know that you're doing the right thing.
If all of this is true, my heart goes out to your kids and you. Dysfunctional- the whole crazy situation.

If drugs are involved, she's using, he's using, they're dealing, others in family are participants - your best bet is to pack up your kids and get them as far away from this chaotic mess as you possibly can.

You have no family support system with all that going on, so please don't allow anyone to try to comvince you to stay with that crap. There is no sanity in the midst of this kind of situation, so stop looking for it.

Get yourself away from people who are clearly sick before they further infect you and your kids. Go to school, find a job, get counseling for your kids (and yourself - so you have someone there to confirm that you're making good choices.) Find a women's resource center in your area or church...you need a support network that is NOT made up of criminals, druggies, and mentally unbalanced people. Contact yout local United Way or family violence/abuse hotline for referrals if you're not sure where else to start.

If somewhere in yourself you have found the strength to walk away and move your kids away from this awful situation, then keep your concentration going in that direction, and find people who can help you continue in a better direction. Based on the info you've given, it would be far too easy for you to get sucked back into this mess because of concern and love for your mother.

While you may love her, and it may require some extensive counseling to help you find positive ways to manage thru your relationship with her in a way that will be healthy for you, right now, your kids have to be your first priority. That needs to be your focus and concentration. Get things set and better for them. Everything else will fall into place in time.

What doesn't, you will get strong enough to manage. Your kids deserve to see one adult in their lives be strong and make good decisions for them. You deserve some peace and happiness with your children away from all of this.

You have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of them. You and uour kids are your only concern right now. Your Mom is grown. She made choices and is still making them. Your kids will choose based on what you teach and show them. Don't bring them up to be victims. Show them there is another way- a better way.

Love yourself and your kids first, and everything else will fall into place.

Best wishes to you.

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