Tuesday, August 10, 2010

LADIES: Would you want an ex of yours to contact you in this situation?

LADIES, ;please be honest with your answers. This is the situation. You got married one year ago to a guy, but realized soon after that you made a major mistake. When you got married you will still in love with your exboyfriend, you married your husband on the rebound a few months after you broke up with your ex. You were so conflicted when you got married, even thought to cancel the wedding many times, but it was so late (your ex even begged you to stop the wedding) and you got married hoping you would feel differently/be able to forget your ex. You cannot forget him. You know your ex is still in love with you. Would you get upset and would make you feel worse if your ex still emailed you and told you how he feels? Or would you just want your ex to stop and let you be married, even know he knows that you are not happy? I am the EX, I just want to know if I can still contact her or not? or should I contact her, as I know she is not happy (she has told me) what should I do?LADIES: Would you want an ex of yours to contact you in this situation?
Let her go and move on.

One should always ';Complete one relationship, before starting another';, she is a married woman and you have No right to interfere. When and if she ends her marriage is the only time you should approach her.LADIES: Would you want an ex of yours to contact you in this situation?
Go ahead and email her, if you're being 100% w/ what you wrote it really sounds like you all still love each other, I don't think that marriage is a ';death sentence'; and that once you're married, you cannot get divorced if you're unhappy, it's not fair to her or her husband for that matter to be together, when both their hearts aren't really in it. If you don't contact her you will always regret it and wonder what if.
Go away. She's married. If any guy came after me, ex or not, assuming my marriage was bad and he was a ';rebound'; (you don't get married on the rebound, you have sex on the rebound) I would never speak to him again. It's disrespectful and selfish.

How do you know she's still in love with you anyway? Doesn't matter. She is married. If her marriage is that bad, it won't last long anyway and you can wait, IF she's even into you.
You have to let her be and find her own way out of this mess. Trust me if she is unhappy she will leave the marriage she has gotten herself into. If things are meant to be for the two of you she will find her way back but untill then try to move on with yourself because she has to make this choice about her own life now.
Don't contact her....she is married....whether she is happy or not....isn't your concern....I think people who hook up with someone else...or marry another as a rebound....are selfish people....If they still have unresolved feelings for another...they shouldn't get themselves involved with someone else....until they resolve those feelings.... If she is that unhappy...she needs to leave her husband...and you need to stay out of it.....
You should back off and stay out of her life. She's made her choice and it wasn't you. She's probably happier then she leads on to you, or she'd be with you now and would of called off the wedding.

You need to simply say ';I respect your new husband and marriage so I wish you all the best'; and cya later......... no more contact is best for awhile.
It going to be hard, But I would stay away from her for now, if she truly wants things to change in her life, she has to come to you.

For now stay away :-(

I know it will be hard, I hate to say this, but she made her own bed, she has to sleep in it.

I feel bad for the husband.
Your an ex please let the girl work on her marriage, she might be in love with you as you say but she can also be happy with her marriage if you can make yourself dissappear from her life. Get your girl and let your ex girl have a ball in her marriage.
it's hard but you have to leave her alone completely she made the choice to get married. if she wanted you she would leave him but don't plan on it, just live your life the best you can without her until she takes that leap of faith.
your married now...you need to tell her to leave you alone...how are you ever gonna be true to your wife if she is still in the picture...get rid of the ex...and then maybe you might realize how much you do care for your wife...if not...then get out of your marriage...that isnt fair to her!!!!
I agree leave her alone.

She married the right guy in her mind.

Your love and psycho-ness is not going to provide for her financially, which is what she was probably looking for marrying this other guy.

She loves you, but she loves money more.
Stop emailing, and see what she does. Remember, you are not responsible for her happiness-she is. If she decides that she'll be happier without her husband and with you, she knows how to get in touch.
tell her that you wish she had never married her husband as you and her should be together. ask her to leave him and come back to you. if she says no then dont contact her again as its only going to hurt you! remember, look after no. 1!
Leave her the **** alone. She got married so she already made her choice. Think about her spouse. You are scum if you continue to contact her as far as I'm concerned. Stop thinking about yourself.
You should just go away. She's married. She made her choice, and it wasn't you. Move on. Don't contact her; don't send her emails about your feelings. Just leave it alone.
No, but I am one of the rare people that still believe marriage is for life. I wouldn't want to be worrying about drama with an ex when I should be working on my marriage.
If the love is as you describe (I can only go on that)...then I would not want the ex to contact the married couple.

True love is about doing the right thing.

Let her go. Even if she is unhappy. Live your life. Make a new life for you.

You are sad but do you want the guilt of messing up two other people's lives. This is a mess that you will not work no matter what.

If she leaves him one day, that is another matter. But stay out...and live on.

This isn't the answer you want...but it is the right choice.
She made her choice. She can tell you that she married him on the rebound and that she is unhappy all she wants. You will never really know because you aren't her. She is playing with both of you, making you feel like there might be a chance if she comes to her senses and gains courage to leave her husband and with the other guy making him think that she was madly in love enough to marry him. It's easier said than done but move on from her and let her figure out her mess on her own..if she comes back to you one day it'll be because she really wanted to and not because you were ';soooo persistent'; Good Luck!
I would explain nicely to her that you do have feelings for her,but you are not going to sit around and be responsible for putting a strain on her marriage, tell her that you will no longer be able to contact her as much. only for very important things, (babies, marraige) because i take it you are friends still. Tell her it is not because you dont care about her, but because you do care, and you cannot sit back and wait for her to leave her husband.

You need to let her be, if she makes the choice to leave her husband, then she does, but she needs to be the one to decide and have no input from you since you would most likely be who she is leaving him to go to.
i was in the same situation 3 years ago before i got married. was still in love with my ex of 7 years and my fiancee at the time knew this and pointed out to me. but my situation is different in a lot of ways than yours. my ex used me for sex mostly, but he took me out, took care of me, paid all of my bills and things for college and ect. after 3 years he stopped spending a lot of time with me but he was still doing most of those things. suddenly he could not take off of work and i could only see him on a week day and not friday or saturdays any more. come to find out yes of course there was another woman taking my fridays and saturday nights. it was hard for me to brake away from him because i still loved him and he still had some feelings for me. when i meet someone else and i liked the way he treated me which was like a lady, i started to care about the other guy. we dated for a year and then got engaged. i had some things i wanted back from my ex like pictures and a lot of other things so i told my fiancee that i had some issues i wanted to resolve before i got married. i had to get my ex out of my system and ask him why i was not the one he wanted to be with. well when i told him i was getting married boy did he have alot to say then! even tried to talk me out of getting married saying that i was marrying my fiancee for all the wrong reasons. its strange how he could not talk up when i was trying to get some understanding about our relationship. i ignored him and i got married. during the course of my marriage i start to get closer to my husband and my ex started to drift away slowly to the point to where i have no interest in him period for real. he is not with that girl anymore. my point finally is that you need to back off. it dosent matter if she is happy or not that man is her husband now not you. you dont want to be held accountable for braking up her marriage. you dont have to show her that you still care about her. is she making any move or effort to divorce this man to be with you? if you keep on addressing her this way she will want her cake and eat it to. she will continue to still be married to this man and sleep with you behind his back. do you really want to be the other guy? the male homewrecker? she will not leave her husband she will just bang you both. leave her alone and if she really wants you she will divorce this man and come back to you on her own.

No comments:

Post a Comment