Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Dating man with kids, and spends a lot of time with Ex... am I just being insecure?

I have been dating a guy for almost 4 months now, he is an awesome guy. He has 2 kids (1 %26amp; 5) and is a wonderful father to them both. Him and his ex broke up fairly recently before the two of us got together. He has always been up front and honest about their relationship, where he is, what he's doing, etc. (As far as I know) Now please note, that my boyfriend and I are together ALL the time. We spend almost every night together, we go away for the weekends, etc. The problem I'm having though is the fact that ';As a Family'; they spend a lot of time together. A couple times a week they all get together and have family days.Go to dinner, the movies, etc. Once my boyfriend and his ex even went shopping ALONE together. And is if that isnt uncomfortable enough for me, while my boyfriend and I are sitting at home together she is constantly blowing up his phone in text messages, and he will sit there for 20 mins at a time and return them all. It gets irritating and I just dont know if I'm being insecure or is this really almost disrespectfull to me. Cause thats I feel!


I have talked to him about how I feel, and his reasoning for everything is that they both come from torn families and the fact that they can be civil with eachother they want to spend that quality time with the kids, so the kids dont feel like daddy or mommy isnt around because of them. As well he said its difficult to take out 2 small children alone, its nice to go out with all them cause it makes taking the kids out easier having two people there. He was very understanding in my concerns, but ultimately it came to he dint know what he could do to change things.


Is this my own insecurities that I need to handle on my own?Dating man with kids, and spends a lot of time with Ex... am I just being insecure?
Well I would say this would bother me too. Its great they get along but I guess what I dont understand is why all the texting, what do they talk about in these texts. They go out to eat as a family 2 nights a week wow. Why did they split up? Does she date anyone? My children come from a split family and me and there father get along rather well and we split up when the kids were little too. I couldnt amagine going out to dinner with him. Unless we was working on getting back together. I feel they are hurting these children by doing this cause the kids are not getting the chance of getting over there parents splitting up. They still have them together in there eyes. I would say to be careful with you heart cause I feel if you didnt stay that him and his ex would probally end up getting back together. I am not saying he is a bad guy and it sounds like you guys have fun together but what I am saying that there still in love with each other and if he has to responde to her text right then and there its like there still married. I think that his kids will always come first which it should be like that but I feel that his ex is second in his life. Where does that put you. I would probally say she has no bf or someone she is dating. I feel bad for you and I dont feel that your being insecure you have a reason for feeling this way. I know this probally didnt help you but I would say he is still in love with his ex. Good luck to you and be careful so that you dont get hurt in this.Dating man with kids, and spends a lot of time with Ex... am I just being insecure?
They're still sleeping together. He's probarly already told her that he's not ready to commit,but he will always be there for his kids.My sister is in a similar situation.
honey honstly it does sound as if he is a great guys but it also sounds like hes not quite ready to give her up.so m aybe you need time awy from each other until he is clear on his motives
I have a friend who is friends with her ex and his new wife. They hang together. If you feel he is being honest let it go, it will make him love you more to se that you are understanding and care about whats best for his kids. But if something happens to where you catch him in a lie I say moveon. Seems harmless to me. I hate my ex even after 7 years but still go to family events for the kids, my guy now goes somethimes if he wants.
because their excuse is they come from torn families, eventually they will come to you with the 'we want to make things work' because we dont want our families to be as ours was. we want to make it work for the kids.


if you have insecurities now, you will have them later, especially with the holidays approaching, he will only spend more time with them. they have a right to try and make it work , as they are a family. But its something you have to deal with, and accept. Or let it go, and if i were you, I would let it go. He shouldnt have any reason to be texting her conversations that last that long, if it doesnt have anything to do with the kid, then what are they texting for? and why text, rather than pick up the phone and have a 3 minute conversation, texting its just... idk, i dont like texting, .. not in this situation.
This is a chance you take in today's world. I am thoroughly discouraged from getting a woman with kids who has been divorced or broke up with an ex. I get my answers from my Brother in law, I evaluate them thoroughly to see what he is saying. I add two and two to see what I came up with. then I go to other forums to read other men's experience with women with kids. I got an eye full, so if there were women with kids looking directly at me for a possible relationship, I would have to pass her up. I do make a good father figure, I do not want to risk my heart being stomped on for cheating or fooling around. I know in most relationships, abuse doesn;t have to be sexual. Now in this case, your abuse is emotional and mental. you need to seek counseling before you get sunk downhill. I know that you are uncomfortable with the ex and your bf going shopping together and possibly out to eat. You do not know what they are talking about or discussing. Remember, a man can lie to your face like he is telling the truth just as well as a woman can do the same. It is highly discouraged to date someone with ';Baggage';. It means you are willing to take on someone else's responsibility and raising someone else's kid(s). Please check out my source for more info and advice.

1 comment:

JusticeForAll said...

leave him. his ex wife still wants him, therefore u do not have place there. think of the two small kids and their suffering as well, due to women like u that interfere in families. u r actually doing a big sin now. give those kids a chance to grow up in family. go find a free man.

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